As a parent of a drug addict it seems at least for myself I live in a fear of acceptance.
Early it was the fear of accepting that my son was an addict. Fearful to accept it was a disease, because if it wasn't a disease all he had to do was quit. Fear of the stigma and the road ahead accepting a new role as a parent.
As I learned more I became fearful of the future and accepting what is really is. No matter how much I want to control it and manage this thing called addiction.
Accepting that my son could be gone at any time, accepting that no matter how hard I tried I had no control.
Now we are into another phase, he is not using, he is clean he is working on himself. Another fearful period of accepting his recovery is his recovery again, is he capable of this, again not mine to control. Fearful of accepting that my son has returned, different, not better not worse. Just accepting him as he is and what he has become and will grow to be.
Every time I become fearful I need to be thankful instead. That's going to take some work and an awareness of myself. I can only get better if I do this.