Thursday, March 24, 2011

The Best Rehab

I don't have a list of centers I can recommend. I don't have a list or requirements. All I know is what we (all of us) are doing now is the best rehab we have ever experienced.

A new baby coming, a job, life structure, a good person as a girlfriend, all helps, but life with a purpose is the silver bullet.

My posts in the present are so different than our experiences almost a year ago. Back then Mom and I were so lost. We would see young people not in this world and we would be so jealous of their mom's and dad's. We would even wonder to each other if those parents knew how lucky they were. Sometimes we would be angry at ourselves, our son and all the world that we had to go through this, mom used to say out loud, "This is not the life I signed up for." Every day we allowed our son and his addiction to control our lives. It didn't matter if the water was 1000 feet deep or if it was 6 inches deep we could not seem to touch our toes to the bottom and gain a sure footing, we just spent our time treading and treading and treading water.

However, even in the darkest hour never once would I have traded my son for another. Each day we get the honor of him in our life. Sometimes that is easy to forget when the storm clouds never seem to part but part they have. Today the storm clouds are a memory and we are shaken but not so shaken that we fail to recognize the sunlight. I know others out there are basking in the sunlight with us. But I also know that many are bucking against the storm.

Where there is life there is hope.


Annette said...

This is such a beautiful post Ron. I wish I had written it. lol That is exactly how I feel about my daughter...despite everything, and things are not good, I would not trade her for anyone else. Good does come from the bad experiences in our lives. A lot of good sometimes. Someday, my hope and prayer is that my girl will have a tremendous story of redemption to share with other young women who are as lost as she is right now. It might not happen that way...but it might too.

I have a family that I work for that has 4 boys. The family has the g-pa who has advanced Alzheimer's living with them in their house. I am there for g-pa, but I get to watch how this family works...their 4 boys are all gentle, wonderful, young men. They help with g-pa, they are polite and respectful, you never hear any sass or backtalk or is a calm, peaceful home. ALL 4 boys are good kids and I watch and wonder how they did it. What did they know that I didn't know? Maybe nothing...we seem to parent in very similar styles. Maybe it was just genetics at play in my family. I don't know. I just know that this is the path I am on and I plan on not wasting this opportunity to learn and grow from what life has dealt me.

Again, beautiful post. I am so happy for you!! Can't wait till you can post a picture of that new baby too! :o)

BMelonsLemonade said...

Another thing I want to add, from an addict's point of view...would I trade it all? Well, I do not know. But, everything happens for a reason, and my years of addiction have given me several things that ARE incredibly valuable, and without all that crap...I might not be who I am today. And I would not trade who I am today for anything. My experience with addiction has given me plenty of stories to tell, and as a writer...there is nothing more precious. And also, the experiences me and my family endured have made us stronger. And finally, I know the pitfalls of addiction, and I think that I am better guarded against it. I have the tools to keep it at bay. I may feel a craving, but then I look at my young son...and I know I could never do that to him. And I know that just one time ends up the same way, and that is caught up in the addiction again. I know several young parents who never really used drugs before their kids were born, and after their children's birth, they start experimenting for some reason. And they end up just like the rest of us, only they lose their kids in one way or another. As a parent, I am blessed to know what addiction brings, and I know not to even get near it...for my son. He is much more important. Alex will be blessed with this knowledge to...and that baby will also be such a blessing for everyone.

Barbara said...

Watching you and Mom and Alex go through the ups and downs and now reach this place - has been inspiring. It gives me hope and makes me happy. And I appreciate your blog so much. You better not stop writing!

Kathy Gore said...

"Where there is life, there is hope." These are the words the neurologist said to my husband and I after telling us he didn't expect our day old baby to live through the night. They became very profound for me when, against all odds, a miracle happened and my son did make through the night. He is twenty now, and a joy. Those words hadn't occurred to me as we struggle with our 17 year old, who is addicted to dilaudid. Now, once again, they bring me comfort. This journey is new for us, and not one I would have ever thought we would be on. Thank you for giving me something to hold on to.