At times it is so hard to see the good. I have become so accustomed to look for the bad and be suspicious that most the effort my son exerts to becoming clean and working his way towards normal is missed.
I know it must be a struggle to overcome an addiction. I have to believe that we all would hate to give up something that we like, asking an addict to give up drugs seems easy to me but it must be a tremendous challenge. Guess that is why the "one day at a time" is so critical. I take for granted and make assumptions about what I believe he should be or what he should be doing. This only makes my life more stressful. I have to remember to reward accomplishment and not spend so time being critical of meaningless things just because they do not fit within my picture. My picture is not his picture. Meaningful change takes place over time, I've been looking for that switch to throw that changes everything for 5 years. There is no switch.
I have to become aware of the successes of his that I take for granted, and acknowledge them. I must put away my assumptions and temper my expectations. I will do this for a selfish reason, it will make my life better.
Last night he went out with a couple of his new friends. Now they are all over 21 years old. They went to a bar and my son did not drink. He came home early.