Friday, May 22, 2009

A Day In Court

Our son is in jail for 2 weeks for probation violation, dirty UA. After he serves the 2 weeks then he will be transfered to the residential center.

Of course during this time in jail he has a couple of established court dates he will miss. I called both jurisdictions and one agreed to give him a continuance until he gets into the center if I would come to court and ask for it personally. The other court would not grant a continuance, they are just issuing another warrant. So I spent a couple hours in court waiting for his name to be called so I could speak to the public defender for 60 seconds and he just handed me a slip with June 18, 1:00 for his new date. Basically destroyed a whole afternoon.

I am trying to help with the warrant rolling. If he is going to try cleaning up I figure helping with a continuance is small potatoes. When he goes to court he's on his own. While he is in the center they will take him to his court dates.

I am so lucky to have a boss that supports me and allows me to take care of the things that need to be done. That's the kind of boss that gets 110% and bosses like that deserve it.


Gin said...

My boss is like that and I work my behind off for him. He's a great guy. I hope you and Mom are able to have a nice and relaxing weekend.

kristi said...

You are a great Dad.

clean and crazy said...

he is so very lucky to have you for a father. i hope he knows how much you do for him, how important and very special you are. you do not need to do this for him, he needs to learn to do this for himself, these are the consequences of his actions not yours. and yet there you are trying to help and create boundaries at the same time. i am with mom you are a hero.

Sarah said...

wishing you the best....

Cindy said...

Sounds like you're doing such the right thing, the good thing. Keep it up.

Lou said...

I can so relate to this. Your son has dug an ever deepening hole, and you and Mom are furiously trying to fill it before it is so deep all is lost. I put my shovel in the garage, although I used to keep it at my side, ever ready for when my son needed me to throw some dirt back in the hole for him.

Everything you did for your son he could have done for himself from the jail. That is how the 90% of inmates who do not have Mom & Dad to help them do it.

I know your pain. I have had it, I have it, we will always have it. I'm trying to pass on my strength, experience and hope because you are doing all the same things I did.
I hope I don't make you upset instead, that is not my intent.

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

Good luck. I would do the same thing you're doing, right or wrong, I would do it. I had a boss like that too, very fortunate. Now of course I have all the time in the world :)

Fractalmom said...

good luck. i'm sort of with Lou on this one. you are enabling. i know, it's out of love etc. we all have done it.

but, it's enabling all the same. your son is not having any adult consequences for his actions.

YOU are the one doing the running around. YOU are the one rescheduling. and, it might all be good.

then again, when he gets out and possibly relapses, are you going to do it all again to help him through the legal morass one more time in the hopes that THIS might be the time he really needed help and it would work?

and again

and again

and again

don't worry. you WILL reach your stopping point. we all do. And don't feel badly that you are enabling. We all do that too.

I am looking for a group I saw on TV. It's different than NA or any other, its called learn2cope and it is JUST for parents of heroin addicts. no one else.

I'm thinking it might be the home I have been looking for and not found yet.

Good luck and lots of love to you and Mom.