Tired and Very Sore This Morning

Here we go again. End of last week the bizarre behavior began again. I knew, but didn't want to go there but eventually the problem comes to you.

Last night mom uncovered the kit again. All the normal stuff, soot covered spoons, needles, wipes just the standard crap. We were on our way to bed. I fact I was already in bed. Mom confronted him and it began to get ugly fast. I was out of bed and when I got to his room everything was evident, even with his lies about it being old stuff. he persisted in his lies even when told him we search this room and the bathroom, where he said it came from, all the time. Just about every time he is gone. I know for a fact the stuff wasn't there last week, I had looked.

We knew something was up, the phone had been ringing off the hook last night.

I got angry, it's that anger that only parents of an addict knows. It's boiling over anger that is supercharged with frustration, lies and fear. I told him he could not live here any more. Told him I am not living with an addict and his shit any more. He was angry and began putting on his shoes. Mom told him to at least pack a bag of clothes and stuff if he was leaving now. He said he didn't need it that he was going to be dead by tomorrow.

My child protective defenses kicked in, told him he was not leaving and he said he was. I had to try and physically restrain him at the same time calling 911. We wrestled until he finally broke free. I felt it was a life of death struggle and fought like it too. He kept telling me to stop that he didn't want to hurt me.

He broke free and ran, got about 100 yards away and stopped. He came back. He knew the cops were coming and it was going to end badly for him but I do have to give him credit he came back.

We went back upstairs and the arguing started again, we were all shouting and about that time the cops got there. Came in with guns drawn and made us come outside. Settled down then. Mom and dad filled out statements. Alex gave them permission to get the paraphernalia from his room so he will be charged with paraphernalia and he was taken to jail.

Cops told dad that if he wanted to press charges for me restraining him I could have been taken to jail too but he is not pressing charges and they are not taking dad into custody under the circumstances. What a totally screwed up world it is that through all this if he had not let them in his room, I could have went to jail in cuffs and he could have walked.

We have a lot to contemplate. Better seems only to be a temporary condition, using appears to be the norm. Next step? He cannot live here, it is unhealthy/dangerous for us and him.