An Addict In Our Son’s Bedroom: Waiting

Monday, April 6, 2009

Waiting

No news from jail. If he is being honest then he should be 17 days clean today. Mom went through all his normal hiding places and looked for new ones. She found nothing, which sure is different. It's just a waiting game now to see if he gets released.

He missed another interview at a different Oxford House. Mom said that when he called that was what he was most upset about. But her saying on the fridge sure rings true, "It's hard to move towards the future when the past keeps dragging you back to the present."

From my point I understand he may not have used drugs for 17 days, but the way I look at it he isn't clean until all the mess is cleaned up behind him. And yes I know from all you NA and AA'ers those are later steps. But in my nature I am an action type guy.

5 comments:

Annette said...: Well not using for 17 days is something. All the mess being cleaned up behind him will take time. He has to be able to be grateful for the progress he has made today. One day at a time the rest will follow when he is ready.; April 6, 2009 at 9:20 AM
clean and crazy said...: that is good that you are an action guy, stick with your guns and make him do the footwork. there are plenty of Oxford houses out there just look them up on the internet in your area, I was surprised by how much help is available to addicts today. So don't get too discouraged about the interview and rest easy that he is safe and so are you and your family. You can sleep tonight with both eyes closed and that is a blessing. You have been through so much hard times you definitely deserve a break from the chaos. it is not yours, so let him take care of it. take care and get some rest.; April 6, 2009 at 11:23 AM
Bar L. said...: I think its a very positive sign that Mom didn't find anything AND that he was upset about missing the Oxford interview. He is taking care of some of the mess right now....he's paying the price for letting something go to warrant. I am going to keep hoping the very best for your boy. Keep us posted.; April 6, 2009 at 2:24 PM
Unknown said...: No oxford house is going to take him with 17 days clean. Those are more 6month time clean houses. Its a great risk to through a recently clean (days) junkie in with the rest, They don't want to turn it into a flop house. My college, (texas tech) is one of 3 college in the nation with an addiction program. Like an addiction track, scholarships, etc. I was 4 months clean with a 28 day rehab behind me and they STILL didn't let me in. Thing is, since what they are doing is so new, they need their numbers to look good, cause they are federally funded for reasearch. They don't want some newbie junkie in there who starts getting high and throws their numbers off. So I am left to my own devices. I started using again and am now on methadone.; April 8, 2009 at 7:50 AM
Dad & Mom said...: Mike,

Please look into a chartered Oxford House. There actually is no requirement on days sober. Although they would like fresh out of a rehab or detox program it is not required. You interview with the residents and if accepted by 80% you can be invited in. Look at the website.

http://www.oxfordhouse.org/userfiles/file/

Look under "about us" for the requirements.

Our son was in an Oxford House before and he went 6 months clean. That was his longest stretch since he began using.

Mike please work your program and don't give up on an Oxford House. Google them for your area. Good Luck; April 8, 2009 at 10:34 AM