Monday, February 9, 2009

Remembering that Addicts are Users

An addict is a user. I don't mean drug user I believe they become masters at people using. Understanding and accepting the arsenal they have at their disposal is beginning to help me fight back to keep from losing this war. I want to believe in fighting a fair fight, this is not part of an addicts arsenal. Lies, theft, deceit, emotional blackmail, divide and conquer, pity and empty apologies are just some of the weapons our son has used to maintain his addiction. 

It is hard to accept that a human being that you raise with honor and preach to since he was old enough to understand english that honor is the only thing a man dies with and can take with him has been discarded for the sake of a chemical high. 

As I begin to accept his tactics I understand his motives. I will not fight back using these tactics but I can prepare my defenses. When I am hurt by his actions it is because I allow him to hurt me. I can't help but believe that as his tactics fail on me he has to face his demons without a crutch that I have been for so many years. I guess this is all about enabling, again. Here I am again hoping logic can triumph in an illogical situation.


Fractalmom said...

logic can, in fact help. i find that when I detach from my emotions, and use the advice I would give to someone else, it helps immensely.

And, you are spot on with the first paragraph. They are SUCH good manipulators. Dang. Kinda makes you realize they aren't dumb.

Auburn haired artist said...

It's sad, but it doesn't mean that the things you taught him have been cast aside entirely. They are still in there somewhere, they are just suffering from a form of insanity. If they can get through it, it will all come back to them.

And you are right, the best way to help them choose to be sane again, is to strip them of all their power to hurt and manipulate you.

Annette said...

I can so relate to this. Thanks for sharing again. I am so glad you joined our little blog world! Glad you are here.