He's been in jail since last Friday on a warrant for not paying his fines associated with traffic offenses over one year ago. He goes in front of the judge today. No matter, Johnson County also has a warrant for him for violating his house arrest. I assume they will transfer him after the judge sees him today.
I've never been to jail, except to bail him when we first started this insanity and thought this was only a phase and it would pass. Never even been in handcuffs, knock on wood. So there is no way for me to empathize with him as to the feeling or the conditions. He says jail is no fun and the food is bad. One part of me feels sorry for him and another part remembers the Beretta TV show theme song, "If you can't do the time don't do the crime."
The one thing I really do struggle with is the guilt of feeling relaxed when he is locked up. When he is in jail I can focus on the rest of the family. At first it is just peace and quiet. The phone is not bouncing off the hook. He is not up and down, in and out. Not having to observe some of the most bizarre behavior I have ever seen, and him trying to explain it away.
When he is locked up I am not concerned about his using. I do think about his safety and comfort. He says it is freezing cold and he did see one person stabbed once.
The longer this goes on the more obvious it is that we have to do more to force the issue of his addiction. The realization that to help him we cannot allow him to continue the behaviors he is accustomed too simply because he is an addict. This behavior on our part does not work to help him change. Our home must be someplace he is welcome to visit but he cannot stay. I don't know the what the immediate answer is when he is released but I think that will not be real soon anyway.