Monday, January 26, 2009

Protecting Yourself

Just like typical parents that have the means we got our son a car when he was 16 as soon as he could drive. Gives him the freedom to have a job, play sports, date and get his drugs. As his abuse began to get worse I began thinking about the liability for myself and others.

It would be irresponsible of me to allow him to operate a vehicle. I know he is an addict and uses. My name is on the title and insurance. I confiscated the vehicle. I do not want him injuring himself or someone else because of his addiction. I don't want someone else taking everything we have worked for all our life because we did not want to upset him taking away his truck.

Drug addicts will steal to feed their habit. My experience is that he stole from those closest to him because he knew we wouldn't press charges. No one was exempt, mom, dad, sister, granny, grandpa, cousins, aunts, uncles and neighbors.

A safe holds all of our extra keys. Our extra checkbooks are kept at my office in my desk drawer. Mom locks her purse in the trunk of her car at night and sleeps with her key under her pillow. No more change jar on the dresser. I'm sure people get tired of me counting exact change at the register just to get rid of the jingle and weight. We regularly check online bank statements just to make sure he hasn't got one of mom's checks, which he does frequently.

My turn to vent. Our local Walmart is like an ATM not requiring a PIN number. Our son often took checks he stole from us and his sister there. He would buy something, write a check, they do not check ID, run it through the machine, immediate debit of your checking account, he takes the merchandise to customer service counter and they refund him cash. I requested from Walmart at the local store and there corporate office to never accept a check with our name, they told me that was not possible. NOT POSSIBLE for a retailer that has the most advanced computer system in the world. They told me the problem I describe was not their problem. As far as I am concerned, my opinion is, when they know this is a problem, and they admitted they knew what happens, then they are complicit in the drug trade when they take no actions to change their policies of not checking ID on every check transaction. When he would use his sister's checks it only had her name on the check, I would think to anyone it would be obvious a male writing a check that only has a females name, something must be fishy.


Auburn haired artist said...

I Bet if you wrote them a check that didn't clear the bank, they would have no problem figuring out a way to block checks written on that account. Of course it's possible, but they're only willing to do it when it benefits THEM.

sKILLz said...

I myself am a addict. I am now on a methadone program and I also use when I can or feel like it.
I know the hurt you have because I have done it to my mother. I have stolen, I have robbed. I have been out for days and nights making her worry and wonder if I am alive, If I am in jail, if I will ever come home, and if and when i finally do whats going to happen next.

My mom tried tough love and it worked, it got me on the program and to the point where I am now.
I can hold down a job,even though I am not working right now I do help with animal shelters and do animal rescue when I can.
I have been in a relationship for over 4yrs. I take care of my animals I pay my bills. So for the most part I do what I need to and also what I want by getting high.
Can I go down the slope and fall right back where I was? Of course. At any given time it can happen to me.

My relationship with my mother is everything to me right now, her and my partner are really all I have, also my animals.
I am VERY grateful for the relationship I have with my mother right now. She could have totally turned her back on me like other family members did and she didnt, she had, and still has faith in me.

Thats just a taste of my story.

Anyway about your son and wallmart, yo thats some messed up shit right there!
If the check didnt clear I bet the wouldnt take it! You can bet money on that!

Im here for you if you need someone to talk to,
my email is

Stay Up!

Lou said...

Addicts are usually smart people and always cunning. He gets away with it because he can read people. You or I would get busted our first time out!

Fractalmom said...

my daughter did that to us. after about, oh, i lost count, but at least $100k in debt and stealing, and she did the walmart trick too, and the local banks (small town). the banks worked with us, walmart would not.

i didn't want to change banks, so i waited until there was no money in my checking account (cuz i took it all out) then wrote a $20 check to walmart, it bounced, i paid the fees at the bank and then never paid it to walmart. I still haven't.

it's been 7 years. I just pay cash. She cannot use my checking account anymore.

It stopped it.

Our daughter did everything to us that your son did/is doing to you. We have been living with it for 10 years + now. There IS a good side to having it be a boy child. He won't pop out a baby every couple of years who is born addicted to heroin.

we are raising two kids that we had to take away from our own daughter. they are 6 and 9. I wouldn't have it any other way, well, except to NOT have had a junkie daughter.

I'd tell you to go read some of my old blogs, but I had to delete them all.


Dad and Mom said...

Mom calls Walmart "The Devil Store" A so called legitimate retailer with policies that you couldn't design on purpose to better support the drug trade

Anonymous said...

Wow, that Walmart situation is brutal. Ugh. I can relate to alot of what you wrote...locking up my purse due to my addicted son AND due to my Bipolar son who sometimes stole from me when he was unstable. It doesn't seem fair. It isn't fair.

Athena said...

Sigh - Oh, the irony... my daughter is finally in jail (she's been there before but never for this long)- got busted shoplifting at Wal-mart.

Unfortunately for her, this time, she picked a Wal-mart in the wrong county...

Me? I'm sleeping better knowing where she is, at least, for now