We are enablers.
We are parents. In all this I don't know how to balance love and care without at times enabling. The hope for change drives our actions. We want so bad to grab him, hold him, shake him and comfort him through this addiction. Every single day it is a struggle to determine what is good for him, good for us, and actually enabling.
I am beginning to understand in my head that his living in and out of the house is bad for us and bad for him. It is hard to internalize this because of the desire to have him close and safe. It is coming to me that being close is not necessarily safe, for us or him.
One of my famous lines to him is, This is a "safe house". We encouraged him to be open and honest and in this house he could let down the defenses. Unfortunately we believed in the "safe house" philosophy but he only used the "safe house" and at times learned it was an "easy house".