Saturday, January 24, 2009

Life Happens, even when writing this blog

Our son is out of our house. This morning his using came to a head, again. Seems like this is a regular thing. I know we must share in some of the blame for this. Repeated actions in and out are not serving any of us well. 

There are 3 rules that we have repeated over and over to stay in this house. No Lying, No Stealing, No Drugs. 

Our son has been on house arrest since Christmas Eve. He was dropped off at 5pm with a house arrest box, also known as "The Chirper" because of the sound if made when he had to blow into the tube and have his picture taken. Since that time he has exhibited bizarre behavior that I would have normally associated with using but he went for regular drug tests administered by the Johnson County Detention Center. My assumption is that he passed them all because they always let him go and return home. I was always waiting in the parking lot so I know he went in and could see the officers dealing with him through the windows.

The feeling was he was sentenced to house arrest in our home but his mother and I felt we were under arrest too. The authorities only shifted the expense of shelter, food and security to us but never ask us to accept this responsibility.

Back to why he is gone now. The evening before we were celebrating his oldest sister's and our son-in-laws birthday. We had a house full of people for dinner, and cake. He seemed as nervous as a cat in room full of rocking chairs. In and out, up and down the stairs, talking loud, lost in his own world. Bad people from his past had been calling and showing up on the caller ID. 
This morning the discovery. Spoon with residue and lighter beside his bed, (his kit) stolen checks and our checking account empty again. An admission by him that he traded an Ipod and a small flat screen TV and dvd player we kept in a spare bedroom for drugs.

I had warned him that he held in his hand the proverbial "straw". This camel's back was broken to today. I called the detention center to take him back. They refused to take him. I got angry with them and told them they could find him and his chirper in my front yard. (It is 11 degrees)

His sister took him back to house arrest detention and they refused to take him. I do not understand the criminal justice system. She then took him to Johnson Cty Jail , they said they couldn't take him because they were full. He called a friend with a land line phone and she took him there. 

He is not in our house tonight.

ps.: Another admission, using black tar heroin now.


Auburn haired artist said...

Oh my, you are dealing with the Johnson County Juvenile Court system !?! They absolutely blow me away with their insane rules and reccomendations. My son spent almost 10 years in that destructive, chaotic system. Granted, it was his own fault, but Jo CO JDC, courts, and probation systems for juveniles is a huge child- eating machine. Their idea of "rehabilitation"
makes NO sense.
You are in my prayers,

Fractalmom said...

To be fair, and I know nothing about Johnson County...

Law enforcement was designed to arrest those who broke the law. There was to be a trial and a jury of your peers to determine innocence or guilt.

If guilty, a fine, or jail time was imposed.

As time went on, more and more laws were passed but not enough law enforcement officers were hired to enforce the new laws.

The cops and judges and probation officers are overwhelmed. they see your son, and others like him 200 times a day. They cannot, must not, view them as human, or they (law enforcement) will go insane.

The system is overburdened with an excess of addicts these days. They do not know what to do with them, and they are as tired of dealing with it as you and your wife are.

They have learned, from LOTS of experience, that nothing they do for or to the addict will help.

I'm sorry to be the one to say this, (but I am known in the blog circles for two things. Opinions and frankness.)

It's not the cops fault. It's not the court's fault. It's not the probation officers fault. It's not the rehab peoples fault. It's not the counselors fault.

It is your son's fault. He is the one continuing to use drugs, continuing to use his family, and continuing to make bad choices.

Do not help him by making excuses. If he hadn't chosen to use, he wouldn't be involved in law enforcement anyway.

It is a consequence of his actions.

and, rehab usually doesn't work.