The FDA just approved the use of VIVITROL, a once a month intramuscular injection for opiate addicts. The medication is an opiate antagonist (blocks opiate receptors in the brain). Vivitrol cannot be abused. It is not addictive. It cannot be gotten except in a doctors office. You cannot take it home. You go in once a month for the shot. It has an 86% rate of success.
YOU HAVE TO BE TOTALLY DETOXED FROM ANY OPIATE BEFORE YOU CAN RECEIVE THE TREATMENT. NO SUBOXONE, NO METHADONE, NO OXY'S, NO HEROIN, NO CODIENE, NO OPIATES AT ALL.
BUT....this might save our children. Vivitrol Website, with Doctor Locator
Friday, January 28, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Anniversary #2
Two years ago we began writing this blog in an effort to help us through our son's addiction. Much has changed since we began writing, mostly us. The fact is, I think we would be at the point of nothing would have changed, if we hadn't changed.
While writing this I often thought about self-censuring the content. I am glad I didn't. Sometimes Mom ask me not to write about something so I didn't. To me that wasn't censuring, that was respecting her wishes; after all, we are in this together. But otherwise what you read was the real thing, the good, bad and ugly. I decided to lay out our life for all to see, I'm a person that is all or nothing. Our mistakes were plentiful and I am so glad everyone had the guts to flog me when it was needed. Endless hope is what has carried us this far, even though time after time it was dashed and we crashed. Where there is life there is hope.
I know so many of you have been rooting for and praying for Alex this whole time. We appreciate that more than you can imagine, all of your wishes for our family. But with all of Alex's tribulations and despite what you have read about his exploits the heart of this blog is about a Mom and Dad in the struggle of their lives. An important lesson learned in this struggle is that we know we can and will survive; no matter the outcome and if the monster returns, we will survive another day.
You've probably noticed my posts have become less about the drama living with an addict because at this point there is less drama. It is easier to be light hearted when life is not one crisis after another. I will still post updates but there may be less posts.
Many of you have been reading this blog from the beginning, some have been writing your own blog longer than I. I continue to read your blogs as you post. It is discouraging to see that parents new to this disease begin blogs about an addicted child but these are the people that need help. A parents desperation to search for answers to this insidious disease is only eclipsed by the courage it takes to write about their own journey. My advice to all parents struggling out there is to either read or write. I have never found a peace like the peace I have found reading comments from all of you that read our blog.
I am trying to be diligent about writing comments to new parents. Many times repeating the wisdom of Lou, Dawn, Syd, Barbara, Annette, Suzie and countless others too numerous to mention. But these friends were here in the beginning and I still have much to learn from all of them.
As this new year begins I was ask and have accepted a volunteer position with The Partnership at Drugfree.org to be a Parent Ambassador. I'm not really sure of the full scope of a Parent Ambassador but from what I have been told I will be the Kansas representative and help with western Missouri and will be a person designated by The Partnership to help parents and represent The Partnership across Kansas. Not sure I am quite qualified for something like that but they told me there will training, good, I need it. So you will probably be reading about my adventures in this too.
So I hope you are looking forward to another year of boring stories and poor grammar. I am not giving up! Y'ALL HAVEN'T BEATEN ME INTO SUBMISSION, YET!!!
While writing this I often thought about self-censuring the content. I am glad I didn't. Sometimes Mom ask me not to write about something so I didn't. To me that wasn't censuring, that was respecting her wishes; after all, we are in this together. But otherwise what you read was the real thing, the good, bad and ugly. I decided to lay out our life for all to see, I'm a person that is all or nothing. Our mistakes were plentiful and I am so glad everyone had the guts to flog me when it was needed. Endless hope is what has carried us this far, even though time after time it was dashed and we crashed. Where there is life there is hope.
I know so many of you have been rooting for and praying for Alex this whole time. We appreciate that more than you can imagine, all of your wishes for our family. But with all of Alex's tribulations and despite what you have read about his exploits the heart of this blog is about a Mom and Dad in the struggle of their lives. An important lesson learned in this struggle is that we know we can and will survive; no matter the outcome and if the monster returns, we will survive another day.
You've probably noticed my posts have become less about the drama living with an addict because at this point there is less drama. It is easier to be light hearted when life is not one crisis after another. I will still post updates but there may be less posts.
Many of you have been reading this blog from the beginning, some have been writing your own blog longer than I. I continue to read your blogs as you post. It is discouraging to see that parents new to this disease begin blogs about an addicted child but these are the people that need help. A parents desperation to search for answers to this insidious disease is only eclipsed by the courage it takes to write about their own journey. My advice to all parents struggling out there is to either read or write. I have never found a peace like the peace I have found reading comments from all of you that read our blog.
I am trying to be diligent about writing comments to new parents. Many times repeating the wisdom of Lou, Dawn, Syd, Barbara, Annette, Suzie and countless others too numerous to mention. But these friends were here in the beginning and I still have much to learn from all of them.
As this new year begins I was ask and have accepted a volunteer position with The Partnership at Drugfree.org to be a Parent Ambassador. I'm not really sure of the full scope of a Parent Ambassador but from what I have been told I will be the Kansas representative and help with western Missouri and will be a person designated by The Partnership to help parents and represent The Partnership across Kansas. Not sure I am quite qualified for something like that but they told me there will training, good, I need it. So you will probably be reading about my adventures in this too.
So I hope you are looking forward to another year of boring stories and poor grammar. I am not giving up! Y'ALL HAVEN'T BEATEN ME INTO SUBMISSION, YET!!!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Ivan Glen Grover
On January 17, 1982 my father passed away. There are no more phone calls, no father/son chats, no impromptu visits and no one asking or to ask for help.
I don't have to go to a cold snow covered frozen ground at a cemetery and stare at a spot on the ground to honor my father. You see, my dad does not lay there. My dad is not gone, he lives every day inside of me. His wisdom comes from my mouth as my words. His knowledge is passed along to others; how to square a door, righty tighty lefty losey and so much more that seems just natural to my world.
This is how I honor my dad, "The world is give and take." said he. Make sure your account is always balanced.
I don't have to go to a cold snow covered frozen ground at a cemetery and stare at a spot on the ground to honor my father. You see, my dad does not lay there. My dad is not gone, he lives every day inside of me. His wisdom comes from my mouth as my words. His knowledge is passed along to others; how to square a door, righty tighty lefty losey and so much more that seems just natural to my world.
This is how I honor my dad, "The world is give and take." said he. Make sure your account is always balanced.
Martin Luther King Jr.
I am not a civil rights specialist or consider myself in any way knowledgeable in the subject. Other than my own feelings that all peoples of any race or nationality deserve respect and are entitled to every opportunity in the world that is of their interest.
I grew up in the sixties as a boy. The sixties was the period I went from 5 years old to 15. This is a time that shaped me greatly. There are those that believe in the adage that "you are what you were then" speaking of that period in one's life.
I am not presumptuous enough to think in any manner I could speak for Dr. King. However, when I look around my world as a white middle-aged man that lives in the suburbs of a major Midwest city and holds a management position with a manufacturing company I have to wonder, is this "The Dream"?
How much work is left to be done? Drug addiction and alcoholism still ravage the poor and minority communities. Gangs of youth instill fear and prey upon their own brothers and sisters. In the name of capitalism liquor stores, pawn shops, and payday loan businesses flood into poor neighborhoods under the guise of assistance to the needy. Educational systems fail to prepare the majority of youths living in areas where the perceived only way out is through crime because the "system" is fixed against them. The silence of the night is not filled with the chirping of crickets and croaking of frogs; rather, the sound of gunfire and wailing of sirens. Our prisons and jails are disproportionately filled with minority inmates. Is this "The Dream"?
I know in the sixties the issues were much different. Whole races and nationalities of people were considered less, just because of the color of their skin or where they came from in the world. Sometimes I see great progress. I see the President of the United States is a man of color. In places of business there are men and women of color leading industries, not nearly enough but progress none the less.
At times what I hear today is disheartening. The voices to deny equality are loud against people in this country that happen to be Muslim. Immigrants, legal or illegal are referred to as "those people". Racism is instilled in our culture using the words "we are all equal". Equality isn't about the finish line, equality is about the STARTING LINE.
We all still have so much to learn from Dr. King.
I grew up in the sixties as a boy. The sixties was the period I went from 5 years old to 15. This is a time that shaped me greatly. There are those that believe in the adage that "you are what you were then" speaking of that period in one's life.
I am not presumptuous enough to think in any manner I could speak for Dr. King. However, when I look around my world as a white middle-aged man that lives in the suburbs of a major Midwest city and holds a management position with a manufacturing company I have to wonder, is this "The Dream"?
How much work is left to be done? Drug addiction and alcoholism still ravage the poor and minority communities. Gangs of youth instill fear and prey upon their own brothers and sisters. In the name of capitalism liquor stores, pawn shops, and payday loan businesses flood into poor neighborhoods under the guise of assistance to the needy. Educational systems fail to prepare the majority of youths living in areas where the perceived only way out is through crime because the "system" is fixed against them. The silence of the night is not filled with the chirping of crickets and croaking of frogs; rather, the sound of gunfire and wailing of sirens. Our prisons and jails are disproportionately filled with minority inmates. Is this "The Dream"?
I know in the sixties the issues were much different. Whole races and nationalities of people were considered less, just because of the color of their skin or where they came from in the world. Sometimes I see great progress. I see the President of the United States is a man of color. In places of business there are men and women of color leading industries, not nearly enough but progress none the less.
At times what I hear today is disheartening. The voices to deny equality are loud against people in this country that happen to be Muslim. Immigrants, legal or illegal are referred to as "those people". Racism is instilled in our culture using the words "we are all equal". Equality isn't about the finish line, equality is about the STARTING LINE.
We all still have so much to learn from Dr. King.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Are You in Southern CA
I usually don't post this type of stuff but thought I'd try it this one time. I received this e-mail today asking for help.
I have not researched this and am not vouching for the validity I am just putting this up in case someone is in a position that wants or needs this help.
My name is Julia Jenkins and I’m a Casting Producer for WEtv and Ish Entertainment. I’m working on a compelling new series based in Southern California that will help families who are struggling with difficult issues, such as behavioral issues, addiction, control issues, eating disorders or obesity. I was wondering if you would be interested in posting my message on your blog.
As you know, these issues not only affect the individual, but the whole family as well - and our Licensed Family Therapist (Tara Fields, as seen on Oprah, Dr. Phil and CNN) wants to help.
We know that especially in these tough economic times, a lot of families are struggling but don’t know where to turn…and this heart-warming show will be devoted to lending a helping hand to the families who need it.
Please see our casting notice below. If you’re interested in learning more or have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
Thanks for your time.
LICENSED FAMILY THERAPIST, TARA FIELDS
(AS SEEN ON “OPRAH,” “DR. PHIL” AND “CNN”)
WANTS TO HELP YOUR FAMILY!
Is your family in crises struggling with issues that need to be addressed? Is someone in your home dealing with an addiction and you don’t know where to turn?
WEtv’s new show can help!!!
Tara Fields has made a difference on “Hoarders” and “Intervention” but now YOUR FAMILY can have the chance to work one-on-one with her! This exciting new one-hour unscripted TV series will delve into the lives of families in crisis. Tara will work with families to uncover what their real issues are and then help them to overcome them, making the families whole again.
If you - or anyone you know - are in need of help and live in the Los Angeles area, contact us today! Families who appear on the show will receive free family therapy and a financial honorarium as a thank-you for their time commitment.
We look forward to hearing from you!
Email IshTVCasting.Julia@gmail.com for more info.
*Please be sure to include a description of your family and the issues you’re dealing with, along with a recent photo.
I have not researched this and am not vouching for the validity I am just putting this up in case someone is in a position that wants or needs this help.
My name is Julia Jenkins and I’m a Casting Producer for WEtv and Ish Entertainment. I’m working on a compelling new series based in Southern California that will help families who are struggling with difficult issues, such as behavioral issues, addiction, control issues, eating disorders or obesity. I was wondering if you would be interested in posting my message on your blog.
As you know, these issues not only affect the individual, but the whole family as well - and our Licensed Family Therapist (Tara Fields, as seen on Oprah, Dr. Phil and CNN) wants to help.
We know that especially in these tough economic times, a lot of families are struggling but don’t know where to turn…and this heart-warming show will be devoted to lending a helping hand to the families who need it.
Please see our casting notice below. If you’re interested in learning more or have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
Thanks for your time.
LICENSED FAMILY THERAPIST, TARA FIELDS
(AS SEEN ON “OPRAH,” “DR. PHIL” AND “CNN”)
WANTS TO HELP YOUR FAMILY!
Is your family in crises struggling with issues that need to be addressed? Is someone in your home dealing with an addiction and you don’t know where to turn?
WEtv’s new show can help!!!
Tara Fields has made a difference on “Hoarders” and “Intervention” but now YOUR FAMILY can have the chance to work one-on-one with her! This exciting new one-hour unscripted TV series will delve into the lives of families in crisis. Tara will work with families to uncover what their real issues are and then help them to overcome them, making the families whole again.
If you - or anyone you know - are in need of help and live in the Los Angeles area, contact us today! Families who appear on the show will receive free family therapy and a financial honorarium as a thank-you for their time commitment.
We look forward to hearing from you!
Email IshTVCasting.Julia@gmail.com for more info.
*Please be sure to include a description of your family and the issues you’re dealing with, along with a recent photo.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Where's The Light?
When you find yourself in the dark from something that has happened the natural response is fight or flight. The panic from the unknown grips you. Fear wells up and takes over all your thoughts.
It's dark, you stand still then your eyes adjust. Shadows of familiar objects begin to appear. Your mind begins to accept what you know. The unknown fades and that pushes away the fear.
Slivers and pinpoints of light appear. Your eyes see what you couldn't imagine just a minute ago.
The dark is scary, but if you are brave enough to enter the dark or somehow find yourself there; sometimes you learn something about yourself.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Working On Myself
While my son is incarcerated it gives me a chance to take inventory of where I am. It's so important to take time for ourselves for personal reflection but when you are dealing with an addict in active addiction the drama and crisis is never ending. There comes a point that between the emergencies all you can do is collapse. We've been at that point for 5 years.
I don't want to give the impression of us sitting around waiting to resume our life of crisis and drama. When my son entered jail he was clean and had a determination of sobriety that I had never seen in him before. In all of our correspondence it seems that determination is seated deeper. My hope is that he is what he says now.
At this point I am reflecting on our life for the last few years. How did we, not him, get to this point? What have I learned? It's hard but I have let go of my expectations of what he could have been. His life is his to make the most of and if he wants it he can make it. It is not my job to hand it too him. That would be cheating him of his dignity, pride and life learning. He will make mistakes, I did and I have never been an addict or alcoholic. Life is about discovery and mistakes are a part of healthy discovery. He's not a failure if he makes a mistake, he's human.
Just because my son suffers from a disease that does not justify me robbing him of the chance to discover life by being a helicopter parent. That's another point not just for parents of addicts. If you are always hovering above to shelter your child from the pain of discovery, you are also robbing them of the reward. Sure wish I would have followed my own advice 7 years ago when I was enabling my son's using.
I am tired of, and done parenting. I want to be a father. Looking back I can see as a teenager, as most teenagers, I resented my parents. They were the ones telling me "no". They were the ones I depended on and limited my independence. At that age I couldn't live on my own but in my mind I knew it all and could recite every mistake they were making as a parent. As I matured and began living a life of independence and responsibility a transformation from resentment to respect occurred within me. Dad and Mom the parents morphed into Dad and Mom the father and mother, people with knowledge and wisdom. It would be unfair for me to rob my son of that personal experience.
This is a time to charge our batteries. Our son could come out of jail a monster, I don't believe that but I have learned in all of this time anything is possible. I don't fear the possible, I am prepared for the best.
In the meantime, my mother is getting progressively worse with her dementia. We got her to quit her job effective Jan. 1. That has been a traumatic experience for all and now she is obsessing over her job. Soon it will come a time the car needs to go. It is very trying on my sister because she lives with mom and is the primary caregiver. She needs breaks, we have to make sure she doesn't assume the martyr role. It will be hard on us all. I am so glad Alex wants to fly straight. He probably can not fathom how much help that is to us and how much lighter the load becomes.
I don't want to give the impression of us sitting around waiting to resume our life of crisis and drama. When my son entered jail he was clean and had a determination of sobriety that I had never seen in him before. In all of our correspondence it seems that determination is seated deeper. My hope is that he is what he says now.
At this point I am reflecting on our life for the last few years. How did we, not him, get to this point? What have I learned? It's hard but I have let go of my expectations of what he could have been. His life is his to make the most of and if he wants it he can make it. It is not my job to hand it too him. That would be cheating him of his dignity, pride and life learning. He will make mistakes, I did and I have never been an addict or alcoholic. Life is about discovery and mistakes are a part of healthy discovery. He's not a failure if he makes a mistake, he's human.
Just because my son suffers from a disease that does not justify me robbing him of the chance to discover life by being a helicopter parent. That's another point not just for parents of addicts. If you are always hovering above to shelter your child from the pain of discovery, you are also robbing them of the reward. Sure wish I would have followed my own advice 7 years ago when I was enabling my son's using.
I am tired of, and done parenting. I want to be a father. Looking back I can see as a teenager, as most teenagers, I resented my parents. They were the ones telling me "no". They were the ones I depended on and limited my independence. At that age I couldn't live on my own but in my mind I knew it all and could recite every mistake they were making as a parent. As I matured and began living a life of independence and responsibility a transformation from resentment to respect occurred within me. Dad and Mom the parents morphed into Dad and Mom the father and mother, people with knowledge and wisdom. It would be unfair for me to rob my son of that personal experience.
This is a time to charge our batteries. Our son could come out of jail a monster, I don't believe that but I have learned in all of this time anything is possible. I don't fear the possible, I am prepared for the best.
In the meantime, my mother is getting progressively worse with her dementia. We got her to quit her job effective Jan. 1. That has been a traumatic experience for all and now she is obsessing over her job. Soon it will come a time the car needs to go. It is very trying on my sister because she lives with mom and is the primary caregiver. She needs breaks, we have to make sure she doesn't assume the martyr role. It will be hard on us all. I am so glad Alex wants to fly straight. He probably can not fathom how much help that is to us and how much lighter the load becomes.
Craig Ferguson
Here is a link to a monologue that Craig Ferguson did on his show "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" He is speaking on his own journey about recovery with alcoholism. If you haven't seen this it is worth watching and for me I can almost see and feel his pain as he explains his own situation.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
Friday, December 31, 2010
Happy New Year
It am taking a break. We have a house full of people and some are playing domino's and some are playing a board game. I'm not much of a board game player except for games like trivial pursuit or something like that type.
I get to do what ever I want because today is also my birthday. ;-) The way I have it figured out. I was born in the morning on Dec. 31. By doing a tremendous amount of research about the day I was born I discovered the following: I was born in the morning and by the evening of that day there were celebrations and parties across the globe. Darlene says I am sometimes full of myself. But, how do you argue facts like those. Check it out for yourself, I was born in the morning and people celebrated all night. Just simple conclusions, facts are facts.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Good with the Bad
Got a really good call from our son from jail on Christmas afternoon, that's the good.
My mom's dementia is getting worse, it is becoming more and more pronounced. It was very evident with everyone here for Christmas, the bad.
My father-in-law's significant other died on Sunday the 26th. She suffered from Alzheimer's too, the bad.
My mom's dementia is getting worse, it is becoming more and more pronounced. It was very evident with everyone here for Christmas, the bad.
My father-in-law's significant other died on Sunday the 26th. She suffered from Alzheimer's too, the bad.
Friday, December 24, 2010
A Christmas Wish
To all that read this blog and suffer through my misspellings, poor grammar and endless stories.
A very Merry Christmas to all and may all of your Christmas wishes come true in 2011.
I know my Christmas wishes are showing themselves to be real this year. Even though he is spending a lonely Christmas in jail he went in clean and has written his sister's that never, ever again. What a wonderful gift we received this year but our gift pales in comparison to the gift of sobriety he is giving himself.
Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday to all.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Emotions During The Holiday Season
When our son was actively using and not in jail we dreaded holidays and weekends. Holidays especially seemed to be a trigger for disaster. One event after another was ruined by his using and actions, birthdays, Christmas, no matter what event there seemed to be drama. We used to moan, "Why does he always do this on a holiday?!!!" I'm sure we aren't alone in expressing that exasperation.
I began to realize that it wasn't just the holiday he was screwing up. He was addicted to drugs. With that came a constant need for him to use each day and if a holiday or special event happened to roll around that wasn't going to end his using. All that really happened was the holiday or event complicated the drama due to added people sometimes but always complications entered from our heightened expectations of a holiday we wished to have instead of the reality of the one we faced.
As this Christmas rolls around our son is in jail. Yes, we wish he were home with us but the reality is our life is our making and his life is his making. The joy we feel this Christmas different from the past. This time he went to jail clean and with a desire to be clean. Yep, we really do wish he was with us this Christmas but......
Dealing with my own personal feelings is complicated. The rational side of me understands the consequences of actions and supports that there should be consequences. But, I am angry. My anger is with my son because of the pain he is causing my wife, his sisters and everyone else in our family that wants so badly for him to be with us but will not be allowed be with us as a family. I see their hurt and it makes me angry that he put himself in a position to hurt those people in this way.
Each time I see my mother she asks about our son. She knows he is in jail and why but she still says she worries so about him. The reality is she is over 80 years old and dementia is quickly overtaking her mind despite the medications. He gets out in 5 months and who knows what other counties may do, but one thing I know for sure is my mother is not going to get better and who knows at what place she will be when she can see him. Another spot of anger for me to see her disappointment when she cannot see him. Her visiting him in jail is not an option, she wouldn't be able to handle it in her condition.
Living in the world of "what is" versus the world of "ought to be" SUCKS. But I found much more peace when I began living in the world of "is" rather than the constant turmoil of the world of "ought".
I began to realize that it wasn't just the holiday he was screwing up. He was addicted to drugs. With that came a constant need for him to use each day and if a holiday or special event happened to roll around that wasn't going to end his using. All that really happened was the holiday or event complicated the drama due to added people sometimes but always complications entered from our heightened expectations of a holiday we wished to have instead of the reality of the one we faced.
As this Christmas rolls around our son is in jail. Yes, we wish he were home with us but the reality is our life is our making and his life is his making. The joy we feel this Christmas different from the past. This time he went to jail clean and with a desire to be clean. Yep, we really do wish he was with us this Christmas but......
Dealing with my own personal feelings is complicated. The rational side of me understands the consequences of actions and supports that there should be consequences. But, I am angry. My anger is with my son because of the pain he is causing my wife, his sisters and everyone else in our family that wants so badly for him to be with us but will not be allowed be with us as a family. I see their hurt and it makes me angry that he put himself in a position to hurt those people in this way.
Each time I see my mother she asks about our son. She knows he is in jail and why but she still says she worries so about him. The reality is she is over 80 years old and dementia is quickly overtaking her mind despite the medications. He gets out in 5 months and who knows what other counties may do, but one thing I know for sure is my mother is not going to get better and who knows at what place she will be when she can see him. Another spot of anger for me to see her disappointment when she cannot see him. Her visiting him in jail is not an option, she wouldn't be able to handle it in her condition.
Living in the world of "what is" versus the world of "ought to be" SUCKS. But I found much more peace when I began living in the world of "is" rather than the constant turmoil of the world of "ought".
ps.: Please check out this mother's blog that just today sent her 20 year old son to rehab for 6 months far, far away. Addiction From The Parent Perspective
Saturday, December 18, 2010
The Spirit of the Holiday's
It's time to once again to get into the spirit of the holiday's, time to put on the game face.
I am so looking forward to going shopping today and dealing with those crazy idiots that should never been given a drivers license. Cars everywhere and every woman driving on the street with a cell phone stuck to her ear and trying to make a left turn in traffic to pick up some little piece of crap for someone that doesn't care anyway. I am usually so pleasant to someone like that, I honk and wave my greetings to her being sure to point one finger towards her so she knows I am acknowledging her generosity during these wonderful holidays.
I take it upon myself make sure all of the temporary store clerks that know nothing about their job receive a warm word about this glorious holiday. I am so patient while waiting when I hear their plea, "CSM register 6" and I am the second person in line behind the person that has an item that the UPC doesn't scan. And then when it is my turn after waiting 20 minutes she greets me with such a smiley "Happy Holidays." I share my joy by asking her. "Do you really know why the angel has a tree stuck up it's a$$?"
How can our house have exactly 27,652 square feet of wrapping paper stored in the closet and not 1/2 inch of scotch tape? Oh yea, I have Duck Tape in the garage!!!!!
Mom, why are you so stressed about decorations, cleaning the house and fixing food? I don't care if 18 people are going to be here on Christmas Day, if it ain't good enough the way we live every day then you need to keep it cleaner for me all the rest of the year. Who needs all this food, Taco Bell has 10 packs for take out!
What exactly do you mean that those new shirts are going to look so good on you? I got a bunch of new shirts in the '90's and there isn't a damn thing wrong with them. I already got 76 shirts hanging in the closet; why do I need new ones, besides not a single one of the new ones have Harley Davidson printed anywhere on them.
The big day finally arrives and the house is so full of joy, laughter and chatter. It is a shame that everyone else has forgotten the true meaning of this day, I CAN HARDLY HEAR THE ANNOUNCERS ON THE FOOTBALL GAME!
Merry F'ing Christmas to all. ;-)
Dad
Thursday, December 16, 2010
How Are Court Workers Hired?
Not much to say but wait. We haven't been visiting our son unless we have to because he only gets 30 minutes of visitation per week so we are letting his girlfriend use the time. He is nervous about when he gets out and what will be waiting for him, what he might lose. My talk to him was he loses nothing if he keeps his determination of being clean and changing his life.
I have been trying to deal with court clerks and judges from the other jurisdictions. I'm telling you if these people worked for me they would be among the unemployed. I have been trying to figure out if they were this dumb when they were hired or became that way in their job.
A letter of incarceration handed to a judge stating his release date is May 24, 2011, judge gives him a continuation to March 1. When I tell him to look at the date on the paper, his response was maybe he get released early. When I say, maybe he won't he just tells me to, "Come up to court again and wait 3 hours like today." If I have to go again on March 1 I am going to ask him if he expects people to take him serious when he rules. If he responds yes then I am going to ask him why he doesn't take other with the same seriousness.
Another jurisdiction sent a letter that because my son was eligible for work release he should immediately send money for his fines. When I called the clerk and told her that he was not allowed work release by the judge she responded, "All I know is a letter we got said he was eligible for work release so he needs to come to court and tell the judge they won't let him work. They won't let him out of jail to go to court in another jurisdiction. Duh! I flat told this woman that if a customer service person responded to a customer with answers like she did and in the way she does in my organization they would be unemployed.
Faxed a letter of incarceration to another jurisdiction. Was told by clerk she would tell judge and get a continuation and call me back. No contact, no call. Am I wrong to expect someone to do what they told me they were going to do?
Maybe someone in the legal field would be so kind as to enlighten me if this is standard operating procedure. Truthfully, I am losing more and more respect for our judicial system and law enforcement the more contact I have with these agencies.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Drugs Are My Prison
I got a note from my cousin's husband. He forwarded a song that was written by his brother's girlfriend whose son died after many years of drug addiction.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQ9tB0z7Ucc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQ9tB0z7Ucc
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Addiction Is An Illness Not A Crime
Lou, forwarded me a petition and ask me to post this on my blog. It is a mother's initiative in Indiana to force mandatory treatment on addicts. I know mandatory treatment may not be the end all of addiction but it can force an addict to look at themselves. I believe each step towards sobriety builds upon the last. Sometimes it takes many steps. Please review this material and if you find it useful please sign the petition, I have.
Since I no longer blog, I was wondering if you might pass this along in your blog.
I have just read and signed the petition: "The Jennifer Act - Involuntary Drug Treatment". A mother who lost her daughter to addiction has almost single-handily taken this cause on. You can read her story. I personally feel any period of sobriety, forced or otherwise, is a step toward permanent recovery. I had never heard of this law until I stumbled onto her blog. As a parent of an adult addict, I want to help her get the word out.
Please take a moment to read about this important issue, and join me in signing the petition. It takes just 30 seconds, but can truly make a difference. We are trying to reach 5000 signatures - please sign here: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/the-jennifer-act---involuntary-drug-treatment/
Once you have signed, you can help even more by asking your friends and family to sign as well.
Thank you! Lou
Interesting article worth reading in The Star concerning probabtion and the liklihood of repeat offenders and how low risk offenders hould be dealt with in the system. http://www.kansascity.com/2010/12/06/2502754/to-gauge-offenders-parole-kansas.html
Since I no longer blog, I was wondering if you might pass this along in your blog.
I have just read and signed the petition: "The Jennifer Act - Involuntary Drug Treatment". A mother who lost her daughter to addiction has almost single-handily taken this cause on. You can read her story. I personally feel any period of sobriety, forced or otherwise, is a step toward permanent recovery. I had never heard of this law until I stumbled onto her blog. As a parent of an adult addict, I want to help her get the word out.
Please take a moment to read about this important issue, and join me in signing the petition. It takes just 30 seconds, but can truly make a difference. We are trying to reach 5000 signatures - please sign here: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/the-jennifer-act---involuntary-drug-treatment/
Once you have signed, you can help even more by asking your friends and family to sign as well.
Thank you! Lou
Interesting article worth reading in The Star concerning probabtion and the liklihood of repeat offenders and how low risk offenders hould be dealt with in the system. http://www.kansascity.com/2010/12/06/2502754/to-gauge-offenders-parole-kansas.html
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Unrest of Jail vs. Protective Custody
In the not too long ago we saw jail as protective custody. It was a respite from the madness of having an addict in our life. We took the time to recharge our batteries in preparation for his release and a resumption of the madness that had invaded our life.
Today we suffer the effects of having a loved on in jail that we wish to be around. That is quite a change. To compound the effects of this time our "enlightened" system in Leavenworth County allows visits ONLY Monday thru Thursday, 1pm to 4:30pm, no weekend or holiday visits. Who in their infinite wisdom designs a system like this? Plus like every system I am aware of there are only collect calls and they are $10 for 10 minutes.
I've never really given much thought to the US penal system; its mission and its methods. What is the balance between punishment and rehabilitation? What should it be? Should the mentally ill be as part of the general population? (there was an article in the KC Star today about that) How or should we help the addicted in jail, take the time and put forth the effort during this time clean to introduce them to recovery options and life? Or is it lock'em up throw away the key? Can we really afford that attitude? To many questions by one not familiar with the system and few answers.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Luck Runs Out :-(
We live in the corner of a county that allows access to 3 other counties all within just a very few miles. Because of that it was easy for our son during his time of using to spread out his offenses across many counties and many municipalities. Now he is going to court and trying to clean up the messes. Last week I told you all he got a couple of weekends in jail in two of the counties. Today he went to court in another county. It didn't go as well, he got 6 months in jail. They took him into custody immediately.
Looks like his luck ran out but I keep in mind that it could have been worse. He may not have the same opinion.
Thankful
We all have many things to be thankful for in our life even if we do have a loved one addicted to awful substances. Sometimes it is so hard to remember that in the midst of drama and crisis that seems never ending.
So I don't forget I am listing a few from my list as it relates to addiction and this blog.
I am thankful my son is clean today. Today is what I have been given and tomorrow will be another not to be feared or celebrated, only to be lived.
I am thankful for all of our family and friends that support us when we needed it in dark times.
I am thankful for every word of advice all of you wise friends have offered on this blog and in person.
I am thankful for all of the parents that are lost in their child's addiction and have searched and found blogs and resources to help with their pain and education. We were those parents not so long ago.
I am thankful I never lost sight of hope.
I am thankful that there are people so willing to give of themselves to help others in this madness. They are the ones willing to stand up in front of others and admit that have walked this tangled path, there is a way.
I'm sure there are many more things but I have to get to work now, of which is another thing I am thankful for.
So I don't forget I am listing a few from my list as it relates to addiction and this blog.
I am thankful my son is clean today. Today is what I have been given and tomorrow will be another not to be feared or celebrated, only to be lived.
I am thankful for all of our family and friends that support us when we needed it in dark times.
I am thankful for every word of advice all of you wise friends have offered on this blog and in person.
I am thankful for all of the parents that are lost in their child's addiction and have searched and found blogs and resources to help with their pain and education. We were those parents not so long ago.
I am thankful I never lost sight of hope.
I am thankful that there are people so willing to give of themselves to help others in this madness. They are the ones willing to stand up in front of others and admit that have walked this tangled path, there is a way.
I'm sure there are many more things but I have to get to work now, of which is another thing I am thankful for.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Reading Material
I just finished reading a blog from a person that made a comment to one of my posts. This parent has a son that has been in recovey for 2 years, his drug of choice was opiates.
I want to highly recommend this writing. His writings and reflections are so insightful. Please visit his sight and read all of his posts to date. He just began writing in October and all of us should feel lucky that he has shared his thoughts and learnings on his sons addiction, recovery and his own recovery.
Addiction Journal
ps.: The Partnership @ Drugfree.org has published another one of my essay's on their Intervene site: Been There, Done That: How Personal Stories Can Help Fight Teen Pressure to Use Drugs
I want to highly recommend this writing. His writings and reflections are so insightful. Please visit his sight and read all of his posts to date. He just began writing in October and all of us should feel lucky that he has shared his thoughts and learnings on his sons addiction, recovery and his own recovery.
Addiction Journal
ps.: The Partnership @ Drugfree.org has published another one of my essay's on their Intervene site: Been There, Done That: How Personal Stories Can Help Fight Teen Pressure to Use Drugs
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