We live in the corner of a county that allows access to 3 other counties all within just a very few miles. Because of that it was easy for our son during his time of using to spread out his offenses across many counties and many municipalities. Now he is going to court and trying to clean up the messes. Last week I told you all he got a couple of weekends in jail in two of the counties. Today he went to court in another county. It didn't go as well, he got 6 months in jail. They took him into custody immediately.
Looks like his luck ran out but I keep in mind that it could have been worse. He may not have the same opinion.
24 comments:
I am sorry Ron. But he is still alive and clean. I am glad for that. Gratitude is relative sometimes.
Yes Syd, he is. Thanks for the reminder.
Much love and hugs to you, your son and family. I was just thinking a lot today about how very challenging it must be for our addict children in recovery trying to stay clean, make court and probation appointments, find and keep a job, pay fines, find clean and sober friends and housing, etc. etc. Then my son reminded me that it is all part of acceptance, of what is, not what could have been.I am grateful for his strength today and for your sharing and honesty.
I'm sorry to hear this Ron. Truly sorry. I am glad he is is clean though. Kicking it in jail is pretty awful.
I hope you and the rest of the family can still enjoy a Thanksgiving meal and make some good memories together. Hugs to you and Mom.
Thinking of you, Ron, your family, and Alex... I agree with you, it could have been worse. I'm glad that he is sober going in- maybe he's meant to reach others while in there, who knows... We don't know, but I do believe that you and he are meant to teach and educate. Best wishes.
wow Ron,..wow,...this really hit me. but the important thing is that he's clean...and went into jail in a whole different frame of mind than in the past. Hope you are able to have a peaceful Thanksgiving despite this event. Hang in there and keep us posted.
Lori
My first thought was how much better he will be able to handle it now...clean...then if he were still using. His mind is clear and he has a foundation. That sure beats an active user suddenly being locked up..and detoxing at the same time. Taking responsibility for ourselves is hard for anyone..he is doing it...How awesome is that.
♥namaste♥
DAMN! I am so sorry. I honestly don't see the benefit of keeping someone like Alex in jail for six months...he has a JOB for crying out loud, he's doing good, why stick him in there to risk him getting bitter or tempted...there are drugs in jail (at least there are in state prison, I guess not as much in county jails). I hope he can keep a good attitude. Personally I think it sucks.
Dad and Mom...so sorry to hear about this, and the timing really sucks with the holidays coming up. let's just hope that this makes him realize that he never, ever wants to go back to the old life. It is going to be a different perspective for him to do six months coming from the clean and determined place he is in, and hopefully it will only reinforce his path. Does he like to read? Send him some books...he will have plenty of time to read in jail. I have a great recommendation. "Shantarum" by Gregory Davis Roberts...it is the BEST book I have ever read. It is about redemption. The main character is a recovered addict who has escaped from a twenty year jail sentence, and goes to India in search of redemption. It is almost 1000 pages, and it is the kind of book you cannot put down. It is entertaining. It is emotional and touching. He will cry. He will laugh. He may even learn a few words in Hindi. It is really awesome. And I have read it three times. It is excellent, and it will be a good time occupier. In the words of Tupac Shakur(and share this quote with Alex)..."Keep ya head up!"
You know, thats a bummer. BUT, he sounds like he is really in such a good place in his head right now, that I am praying that he views this has just cleaning up his messes. Once they are clean he never has to go back there again, unless he chooses to.
My daughter had a drug counselor once who told her story of early sobriety...she said she had to go back and make everything right. For her that included paying off fines and fees and debts, making restitution for things she had taken or ruined...she said it took her years, but she was determined and she worked hard, she saved some money, and she paid everyone off in time. She said, "I had come full circle. I had to tie up all of those loose ends I had left hanging." I think this is kind of what Alex is doing right now.
You know the thing that I feel the worst about is that I know you were happy to have him home for Thanksgiving and you didn't get what you were looking forward to. That makes me the most sad out of everything. Hang in there.
I'm sorry to hear that. I guess this is part of making amends for him. This has gotta be difficult for you guys, hang in there, and stay strong.
Ron, you and your family and of course Alex remains in my thoughts and my prayers. I can't imagine what Alex must be thinking and feeling; but I sincerely wish for him that he sees this as another step towards a wonderful future. Each issue that he gets behind him allows him to move forward with less baggage and more room for new opportunities.
I hope that you can find some joy and happiness this Thanksgiving holiday and of course the most important thing is that Alex is clean.
Ron,
You have some really outstanding posts to support you and the family.
I was going to say something quite similar to what Annette posted but she said it sooo well there is nothing I can add but one thing perhaps, I know your family life is going to get better and better. This is just the process of recovery.
Prayers and blessing to you family and we will be saying a special prayers for your son, his strenth and his long term recovery.
Take a deep breath...in the overall scheme of things, six months is not an awfully long time. Who knows? Sometimes what you and I may see as an awfully unjust fate may actually be exactly what your son may need to solidify his resolve to stay clean for good. Restitution is a healthy and good thing...it is what keeps us on the straight and narrow. He may enter as an adolescent and emerge as a man.
My Husband and I were just talking about how sad it is that we wish our son would go to jail so that maybe we could intervene and get him to rehab. It would be an entirely different story if our sone were clean and trying the last place we would want him to be is jail. Thank goodness he is clean - and if it is like anything here he will not serve anywhere near that amount of time. I really hope so. I think we are all so proud of your son right now.
My thoughts and prayers are with you now. You did all you could for him. His past caught up with him but he is still alive and well. That is a miracle in itself. Stay strong.
Sorry to hear this Ron, it must have been difficult the day before Thanksgiving..... So wonderful to hear that he is clean though. Could you share with us what he did for treatment? Did he attend a certain rehab or go to NA meetings or anything along those lines. I'm just asking as my son has been clean for just five short months, he sees an individual counselor every other week as do I and did an outpatient program that I wasn't all that impressed with. I'm just wondering what the options are in other states.
So sorry to hear this news but grateful that he is safe and still clean and sober. Cleaning up the "wreckage of our past" is part of the journey and means different things for different people. My prayers to you and your family. It will get better so keep the faith!
So sorry to hear the news of your son. That must have been particularly hard with the holidays. Hopefully this experience will further the realization for him that using drugs will only continue to ruin his life. Problably a little bit if a bitter pill, now that he is sober. There is always hope that they will let him out early. My best to you.
It is unfortunate that the consequences always catch up with you at the most unopportune time. Life is not fair. Just when you thought everything was faling into place, the past comes calling. If Alex is serious about getting his life back on track, he will be able to deal with the situation. It is a big test for him. I am sorry you have to go through this. But he is clean. Try to stay positive and things will hopefully develop accordingly. Never give up hope.
Ron, I'm so sorry for the powerlessness you must feel. I too am in the same situation. I really hope you don't feel as panicked as I do.
Hi Ron, It is sad that the past is catching up to him, but 6 months will go by and maybe there is a reason for this. Sometimes I have to read that line in the AA Big Book everday that says that "Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Prayers are going up for you and your family.
I found your blog awhile ago and am just stopping back by. It's so sad how similar our lives are. The rollercoaster of emotions we feel as our children navigate this life. Praying for a moment of serenity that comes from jail time and then the utter saddness that comes from not having them home with us. It never ends and somedays it just overwhelms us with saddness. Glad to find your blog. Keep working at keeping your life happy. That's really all we have control over.
My hope is that your son continues on the road to recovery. You'll be in my prayers.
Post a Comment