Sunday, April 11, 2010

Squeezed

Lately my mother has been getting progressively worse with "old age". She is 80 years old and the forgetfulness has been getting pretty bad. We took her to the doctor a few weeks ago and she has been diagnosed with dementia. Unfortunately Alzheimer's runs in the family, Both her father and mother contracted the disease a long time ago. A brother and sister died from it too. I'd say the prognosis probably isn't too good. We got her on some of the new medicines but they don't stop the progression, only suppose to slow it down.

Our son's birthday is today, he is 22. We had a family dinner for him on Friday night. Lots of people attended and we really had a good time. Mom and I wound up just giving him cash. He needs the money badly and we finally gave in that we figured he'd either use the money for good or for drugs and it wasn't really our business and that was what he needed the most so that's that.

At 22 he has to grow up. Our time, concern and resources are going to be split one more way. I hope that will be a good thing for him.

Our oldest daughter has accepted a job in Chicago. Looks like there will be a motorcycle trip to that are area planned for the future and I have a feeling Southwest Airlines may become a friend.

Everything does seem a bit busy lately. We're trying not to be squeezed from both ends.

7 comments:

Fractalmom said...

there is just no escaping the squeeze. only prioritizing.

Kim A. said...

I give my 20 y.o. son gift cards for a grocery store, gas, or a clothes store, depending on what he needs. I am not resentful that way and he is free to do with it as he pleases. They do have to grow up, on their time and dollar, not mine!

♥namaste♥

Annette said...

I give gift cards also. Its what works for me. Aging parents adds another dimension to our lives for sure. Is she living on her own? If I can help with any of the day to day info on caring for her, let me know. Feel free to email anytime.

Heather's Mom said...

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. It has to be tough. While you're taking care of your mom, dealing with your daughter's move, and working through things with Alex, don't forget to take care of yourself! A motorcycle trip sounds like something worth looking forward to!
God bless.

Mom trying to Detach with Love said...

Of all the diseases I feel Alzheimer's is the worst, it robs us of our loved ones even though they are right in front of us. My mother-in-law passed away in October from it. She had it for over ten years and was in great physical shape. Who would ever think we would have wished her to NOT be in good physical shape. I am thinking of you, not an easy road to go down as I am sure you are already aware. Sometimes things happen and we are forced to give up some of our energy and worry about our addict. The focus moves towards the ill parent and the lack of control over such an illness. I hope you will be able to find some peace in all of this and I will be thinking and praying for you guys. Let me know if you have any questions regarding our journey with my mother-in-law.

Anna said...

I am dealing with a mother in law that I dearly love who has this alzheimer's too. The medications have helped a lot but she is slipping away.

I hope you can take comfort as we do in seeing her as comfortable as possible surrounded by her family.

Anna

Syd said...

I'm sorry about your mother. That is a tough thing. It's bad enough watching parents grow old but to have dementia and see a parent revert to childhood again is especially sad. Take care.