Thursday, April 8, 2010

I Don't Get It

I haven't updated on my son for a while and I really don't know what to say. He's clean and he uses. How does he go from not using for a week and then using one of two times and then goes again without using for a week.

My oldest daughter explained to me maybe he is like the "weekend drunk". Sober during the week and gets plastered every weekend. That is still an alcoholic it is just that they only drink on the weekend.

Maybe that's not a bad explanation. It seems like something I can grasp but I still don't get it.

If you can do it for one day, just do it the next day too, and the next and the next.......

14 comments:

Mom trying to Detach with Love said...

He probably doesn't think he has a problem if he only does it on the weekends. Many people that drink don't think they are alcoholics if they just drink on the weekends, and many aren't, if they don't drink to get completely smashed! I do wonder how he manages to use for a short time and not have the severe dope sickness that follows. Many of the youth of today find it socially acceptable to "party" on the weekends only, so his peers may find this behavior normal. The disease is powerful and pulls at him, thus the not stopping the next day and the next...he isn't ready it would appear.

Fractalmom said...

I'm really sorry Ron.

one of the ways he could be using on the weekends only or whatever, is by purchasing suboxone on the street.

LisaC said...

From everything I've sadly learned, it seems that you can't use opiates in the same way you use heroin...dope sick and withdrawals seem much worse physically than a hangover from alcohol, so I find it hard to believe that you can shoot up on weekends and be clean all week. Who knows? I know this is such a tough time for you and Mom. I think of you often and keep you and your family and Alex in my prayers.

Barbara said...

It makes no sense to me either unless he is using so little that he's not getting dope sick in between using. I thought the gf was going to kick him out if he used. Is he smoking it or shooting it? If you smoke it it stays in your system longer because it gets in your muscle tissue (so I've been told...)

Mom trying to Detach with Love said...

He could be using Suboxone during the week, that is what many will do, including my son.

sydney said...

I'm sorry :( My heart goes out to you because I can see how badly you want a clean and sober life for him. What if it just isn't in the cards though? Would that be ok? I think the best thing I ever did for my mom when she was actively using, was to treat it like it was never going to change. Do you know what I mean? For so long it had become my problem, if only I could tell her/show her how worth it she was.... but that's not an epiphany that anyone else could help her reach. I hope that you find peace, and I hope that Alex finds peace. But maybe try focusing on your own peace for now.

avoid and distract said...

As a previous opiate user, I'm glad he's restricting his usage. But considering his past, I do think it's extremely wrong of him to attempt it. The risk of diving head first into addiction is too great at this point, and he's put your family through enough.

In reply to @LisaC, if he's not getting withdrawals, which he probably isn't if he's actually only using on the weekends, the hangover from dope is actually very similar to an alcohol hangover.

Anna said...

......or......maybe he does not always get caught and when he does not get caught it does not count. I think Sydney was very insightful.


Did you say that you bailed him out recently? Why?

Just wondering.......

In any event less is better for now. Some people do just taper off. I of course, just want it all to stop right now for all of us!

A Mom' Serious Blunder said...

MY SON DOES THE SAME THING! I am a bit confused too...just thought you should know there are others out there too. Not at all sure it really makes a difference because my son is still an addict with an addict mentality even when he is clean for a week or more.

Syd said...

I have no idea about how addicts live or how they taper off. I not at all familiar with drug addicts or their habits. I know that there are those who only drink on the weekends. My dad was one of those. Take care of yourselves.

Heather's Mom said...

It is frustrating I am sure. Until he is in some type of recovery (NA etc) or not using at all he's still going to need to be responsible for his actions, and you and Mom are still going to need to take care of yourselves.

Like I'm finding from my last post with Heather, now that she and I are talking again, a have to risk being pulled back into drama in whatever way shape or form. It's easier to practice what I learned in Al-Anon when we had no contact...

Do what you can to take care of you and Mom. I continue to pray for you two and Alex.

clean and crazy said...

i am grateful that is not me i am grateful i get it and continue to stay clean. i don't know what will work for him i just know what works for me and that is N.A.

i am truly grateful that you get it and that you share your story, i am truly grateful that this does not consume you today and that you have found a light at the end of the tunnel for you and your sanity, you have helped so many with this blog and your strength and courage is amazing, i would be grateful if you were my dad.

Diana said...

I found your blog from the SR site and have a daughter who is a heroin addict. I can relate to your frustration, your son's story sounds so much like my daughter's and so many other addicts. I am going to be following your journey and will keep you and your son in my prayers.

hermother said...

My daughter is still somehow working every day and maybe her employer ignores the fact that she shows up to work loaded,based on what she does, but I can't imagine that she would run to the bathroom for a fix while working every hour or so. It amazes me how many addicts still appear to be living life like the rest of us.