Monday, August 31, 2009

Weekends Can Help To Heal

We spent the weekend at the lake. We needed the escape. It can be healing to and helpful just to change the scenery.

When our son is not in jail we share the experience that many of you have. Weekends are often a dreaded time. Seems as if you look forward to the time off work but those phone calls in the middle of the night disturb any relaxation.

I still struggle every day to understand what drives this addiction crap. Accepting is not something that comes easy for me. As someone that has not experienced an addiction it is difficult to me that a conscience decision to abandon that lifestyle is not simply just a choice that can be made.

With that I accept my son and the life he lives. I don't condone it, I don't understand it but it comes with the territory. I must accept it. That in no way means I must continue on with the same life I have been living for the last 6 years. At some point he must accept my life and my conditions to maintain a typical father/son relationship also. Maybe he isn't there yet, and maybe I'm not there yet. Tomorrow is another day.

16 comments:

Mom of Opiate Addict said...

I am so glad you were able to get away and have a little relaxation. My husband and I try and get away as much as possible. We are leaving on Thursday for 5 nights to go to a concert and then drive to the coast. My addicted son has been living with us. I am so nernous about leaving. We have someone coming to "house sit" and we are going. One day at a time!

clean and crazy said...

you sound like you are coming to some surrender and acceptance.

Dad and Mom said...

surrender is not part of my vocabulary. good thing i was never in the military

Marsha said...

I understand. Each time I see a police car drive down the street. It seems as if they'll be stopping at my house...it's a weird twist in life, isn't it?

big Jenn said...

Addiction takes away anything "normal" from a relationship. Glad you could get some time away.jeNN

Chic Mama said...

I find it so hard to understand too. I have so many questions but now rather than answer them my husband moved on....I suppose to an addict it was easier.
I find it so hard how my husband has virtually abandoned me & our five children. He was such a good husband & father.
It seems we are the ones doing all the thinking etc...
Glad you managed to escape if only for a short time.

ChaiLatte said...

Glad you had a good weekend. Change of scenery, change of attitude- good deal. We need to take care ourselves and our sanity, for sure.

Madison said...

I think if life gets bad enough, a conscious decision can be made to seek help to abandon that lifestyle. Your son may end up with healed memories and a blessed future. You've set a fine example for him.

Her Big Sad said...

I'm glad you had the chance for a little rest and relaxation. Have you been working on any of your beautiful woodworking projects lately? I'm finding some peace in my sewing room. Some good music and deliberately focusing on something other than my addict has helped me a bit. :)

Wishing you and mom a peaceful week!

hannah said...

Keep taking care of yourself. I'm praying for your son to heal himself.

Dad and Mom said...

Still finishing up the punch list on my daughters kitchen. A few final touches.

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

Yep, I hear ya about the weekends. Glad you had a nice time at the lake. When you wrote "punch list" it brought back memories of my last boss, he was a cool guy and always had a punch list!

Susan DeAngelis said...

Time does heal -- up and out... take in the beauty of this world to rejuvinate yourselves.
hugs,
Sue

Syd said...

There came a time when I was in such dire straits that I had to surrender because I knew that I no longer had the answers, the cure, the control. It was the best thing that happened to me. I was willing to live and think differently. I'm glad that my surrender helped me to live a better life.

mitch said...

I tried it once and couldn't stop. It's powerfull.It's not a choice. After the first time my life became live to use. It's a heartbreaker.Maybe try Alonon.We make people like you sick from being around us. Peace

Addiction said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.