We are leaving for Colorado this afternoon as soon as mom gets home from work. I am very excited, like a kid on Christmas Eve I didn't sleep at all last night.
We are in a good place today. The girls are OK and Alex seems to be getting his head on straight. He still has setbacks but now it seems it is more like one step forward and only a half step backwards. That is progress, he use to be one step forward, half a dozen back.
Dad and son had a chance to talk yesterday afternoon. Seems like our talks end up with me delving into some of my lessons of life and I sense it is usually all for naught. Yesterday I am hoping we made a crack in the wall of defense.
We talked about his setbacks. He kept saying he was trying as hard as he could to follow all the rules and change all the way. I told him my philosophy on "trying". Trying is the first step down the path of failure. Trying is the first excuse out of the mouth of a person not committed. Trying gives us a ready made "out" for any complications or setbacks. Trying is a measurement of effort, not accomplishment. I ask him to remember, the last time he was measured on effort was in second grade on his grade card. I told him as long as he was trying he was setting himself for failure and continued heartache about his life, his addiction and his situation.
Successful people do. I will do are the first words out of the mouth of a committed person. To do, is to succeed. To do is positive, to try is a negative. I believe strongly he needs to take the negativity out of his mind to succeed.
In addition, using a point I got from a fellow blogger, I ask him what he was going to do completely different this time when he is released to remain clean and live honorably. I suggested he come up with five things completely different and then write them down on a piece of paper. Made me feel good that he was the one that brought up setting clear goals. He said he wanted to say it before I said it again. LOL I have harped on goals for all my kids lives, I know they hate it but it is one of those things that I credit for success.
To end the conversation he told me he would do these things to change. I think that was the first time I ever heard him say anything other than he would try, and that usually came with a pleading tone.
Now it's wait and see.