Tuesday, August 11, 2009

An Emotional Teeter-Totter

Up and Down, Up and Down, Up and Down

How many metaphors can be used for this roller coaster ride that is officially called "parent of an addict".

We came back from the lake and had a wonderful time while we were there. It was hot, over 100 degrees, but it is hard to become overheated when you are neck deep in water. Just sunburns your nose a little. I don't think there is a SPF high enough to keep that from happening. Mom gets mad at me for sunburning my nose. She says I'm going to get cancer on my nose and they will cut it off like Micheal Jackson's.

I came to work on Monday and spoke with my son. He told me that he was in trouble. On Saturday he was taken to Walmart for some shampoo and he missed the bus back to The Center. Of course, he had an excuse, seems like addicts never run out of excuses. On Wednesday he has to go to a hearing on him not being where he was suppose to be when he was suppose to be there. I don't really know the details, don't really care about them either. But he did tell me one of the possible consequences was that they could send him back to jail instead of The Center. I told him that if he goes to jail and cannot come to work he is fired. I will not hold his job.

Mom is stressing over this. My position and what I told her was that he didn't ask her permission so his actions are his consequences. She needs to let go of his actions being a reflection of her actions.

On Friday we are leaving on our motorcycle trip to Colorado and South Dakota. I am so anxious to go that it is hard to concentrate on work. Mom and I need this escape. No cell phone talking while on the bike! This may lead to withdrawal symptoms for Mom. Is there a 12 step program for telephone to ear syndrome.


big Jenn said...

You Rock dad! Tough, but very healthy decisions! Addicts will ALWAYS have excuses as long as they think they can get away with it. You HELP him when you stick to your guns and let him suffer the consequences of his actions.jeNN

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

I hope its not back to jail for him. Ugh. I understand how mom feels but I agree with you. I wish I could clone you have you handle my son for awhile (ha, wouldn't that be fun for your clone!)

This is so true: "seems like addicts never run out of excuses." Sometimes I have to marvel at the quick and unique excuses Kev can come up with, it would be entertaining if it weren't sad.

Tall Karen said...

I continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. Vacation from all of this insanity will be wonderful for you.

Mom of Opiate Addict said...

It always seems like just before my husband and I get ready to get away, or are already away, something happens with my son, some crisis or problem. I am sure it is this way with all addicts as they always have some type of crisis going on. It is good that you held your ground and that he is suffering the consequences of his actions. I understand how Mom feels though, as I am not quite that strong yet and my boundaries are different than my husbands. Good for you to get away and just try to stay in each moment, take it all in and enjoy, we have a life too:)

Madison said...

Some people may refer to your decision as 'tough love'. I think it's true love of your son, a strong stance against the sickness trying to snatch his life. There is nothing unloving about saying that if drugs or alcohol is in the mix, the dance is over. I understand Mom because I used to be Mom. When I told my family that I was taking a strong stand against drugs and alcohol, they didn't believe a word I said. Now they do. And the longer I live with that decision, the happier I am about it. My husband came to this conclusion about a year before me though. It's hard for me to forgive myself now for the year I forced him to live through because I thought one more chance was a good thing.

Syd said...

You are incredibly strong. I hope that you enjoy your trip. And I wish the best for your son as well.