Tuesday, August 4, 2009


When I first began this blog I wrote about the lifeboats Mom and I had used during this struggle. At that time it seemed like when we boarded the lifeboat it was if we had been treading water for hours and barely pulled ourselves over the side waiting for rescue. We have been having a good time with our son for a little while and I have had time to reflect on the critical need of these distractions from the everyday grind of dealing with an addict. So, why am I writing about lifeboats again?

When I spoke about lifeboats those months ago I talked about how important it is to get away for just a few hours. Mentally check out from the drugs, the behaviors, and the legal issues. When I look back I see those lifeboats were our salvation from insanity. Anyone dealing with an addicted loved one knows that you feel like you are going crazy, the world no longer makes sense to a rational human being when you are living in the world with an addicted child.

The ability to really take advantage of the protection of your lifeboat is to be able to detach for that small amount of time. We struggled with that, there were even times we got calls while we were out by oursleves from our son after he was taken to jail. It is hard to completely detach but we tried and it does get frustrating with no time alone, but it is necessary.

We are boarding our lifeboat again for a couple of trips. The first is on Thursday, we are going to Grand Lake in Oklahoma for four days. It will be relaxing and we are water people so just to be swimming and cruising in the boat will be very welcome. We will be visiting with family and I think it will be a wonderful event.

When we return from the lake we will go back to work for five days and then take off on a long motorcycle tour. We are anxiously awaiting this adventure. Mom has never been on a long trip. We are leaving from KC and going to visit a cousin in southwest Colorado. They have been inviting us for a long time but circumstances have always conspired against us. I guess we allowed our addicts life to hold us hostage. My cousins say they are excited about us coming and are talking about riding ATV's in the mountains and river rafting. Sounds like a blast to me. From there we are riding up the back range of the Rockies to Rocky Mountain National Park and to Estes Park. Absolutely no hurry, anything that looks interesting will get a stop and a look see. When we get to Estes Park our next leg will take us north through Wyoming to South Dakota and a ride through the Black Hills, visit Mount Rushmore and then through The Badlands on the way home. This trip will be about 2500 miles but we are taking 9 days. We are so excited and we are getting our gear together. Mom is stressed about packing so little in one saddlebag and half a luggage for a trip this long but I have told her this isn't a beauty contest and she looks beautiful in helmet hair.

I think we will be able to enjoy these trips because we feel so much more confident now with our son. We both know how tenuous this confidence can be but, from our experience you must have something to help you maintain your own sanity.

Here is a link to my first posting on lifeboats in case you are interested or missed it.



avoid and distract said...

Sounds like an awesome trip. Have fun and clear your head.

Gin said...

Have a wonderful trip! I know you will!

Brother Frankie said...

ya know mom n dad,
yesterday i met with a local pastor (he is riding my wifes scoot) and had coffee. we just talked about life, ministry, and stuff. we are in florida right smack in the middle of the lightening capitol of the world.
after our starbucks chat i jumped on my bike and started riding the 3 miles home. well, one of those famous tropical thunder storms came out of nowhere as i was riding. at first i was going to stop, just a lil over two years ago i was in an accident on the bike in the exact same weather conditions.

i did not pull out of the storm. i continued to ride. water was up to my shins, lightening crackled so close i could feel the charge.

i took the long way home. ya know why? i was riding my life boat. i was doing one of the few things that i do just for myself. i felt relaxed, at peace, but charged up just the same.

when i made it home, soaked thru and thru, my wife grinned, shook her head, made me strip down in the garagage, and said... have a nice ride?


be blessed, enjoy the long trip. time in that boat is priceless.

you are loved
Brother Frankie
A biker for Christ

Tall Karen said...

I'm jealous! Sounds like a marvelous trip! Oh yeah...the gorgeous helmet hair!

big Jenn said...

Tell your wife that once she gets over being worried about not having enough "stuff" because packing a bike is about economy, she'll have a blast! Helmet head is just part of being a biker, there's nothing you can do about it except maybe get creative with bandanas. I'm jealous. Take lots of pictures! jeNN

GG said...

That sounds like a wonderful trip. I went through S. Dakota, the Badlands, Mt Rushmore 20 years ago. I'm somewhat envious.... I hope you have a wonderful time.

Fractalmom said...

have a marvelous time!! we do in fact, desperately sometimes, need those lifeboats.


Syd said...

I hope that you have a great time. It is good to get in a life boat for self-preservation.