Tuesday, August 25, 2009

A Tougher Road

My son just called me from jail. He had a plan. His plan was he had the money to try and bond out and then he would be able to come to work tomorrow.

I just told him, Alex, what part didn't you understand, I told you up front if you screw'd up you would be fired. You are fired.

There was a long pause, he then said he'd just stay in jail.

I don't know if I was right or wrong but I fired my son for his own good. I must live with it now and it is real hard.

19 comments:

Chic Mama said...

Really feeling for you. It sounds as though you've tried everything else....try and stay tough. I'm sure it's for the best.
Take care

Gin said...

I know that it has to be tough, but you said it best...it is for his own good. I am so sorry that you are going through this, but stick to the boundries you have set. It is the only way. Much love to both you and Mom.

Mom of Opiate Addict said...

My heart goes out to you both. I know this is hard as I have yet to build this type of strength in my own journey. That long pause might be more telling than it seems and maybe he is starting to see? I pray for you both and for Alex. Thank you for sharing and being an ispiration to me.

ChaiLatte said...

I'm sorry you are having to go through this pain, again. Even though it's difficult, you did the right thing by sticking to your boundaries. Sadly there are no words I can say to help- just know that you are not alone. Hugs to you and mom.

Annette said...

Oh gosh...I haven't been around and will go and read back a ways...but I'm sorry. Sounds like tough stuff right now. For whats its worth, you are doing the best you know how to do and thats all you can do. It sounds like you are being strong (even if you don't feel strong) and doing what is best for now.

big Jenn said...

There are WAY worse things than being fired from a job. It's good to draw a line in the sand. Boundries are something that addicts ( and their enabler's)don't get.
Good for you dad and hang in there. jeNN

Cindy said...

Oh gosh, this really hurts, doesn't it? We're in a very similar spot right now. Keep second guessing myself. I hope that by treating my son as if he's any other person...then it's the right thing.

Her Big Sad said...

Hugs to you and mom. You really had to do it, or your words in the future would not be as meaningful. (I'm not sure that sentence made sense, but I mean that he'll know you say what you mean and mean what you say....) That was one thing my husband and I had to really learn and it took a while for us! Take care!

Sarah said...

I'm sorry. That sux. But stay strong, I'll say a prayer for you both.

Syd said...

Maybe your strength will be part of his salvation. I hope so.

Athena said...

Thinking about you and mom... It is hard, so hard. But often it's also right... It all seems so unfair to *you & mom*, too :-(

And, staying in jail right now means you know where he is, and, not another legal debt to owe when he gets out. Stay strong, hug each other.

clean and crazy said...

you did the right thing. my mom never got me out of jail and when she said something she stuck to her guns. you did the right thing.

hannah said...

Just catching up on my favourite blogs after a short trip, and am so sorry to hear about this latest setback. It truly is a roller coaster, isn't it? I wish I had some words of wisdom; our family seems to be in a better place for now, but we are all on edge waiting to see if our son is going to go off the rails again. It's not fair that families have to go through this. I went into school today to do a few things before my students arrive back and someone had hung a few inspirational posters on my bulletin board. One of them read: No matter how far you go down the wrong road, you can always turn back. Of course I immediately thought of my son. Tonight, I'm thinking about and praying for yours. Peace.

sKILLz said...

Dam I just read this post & I feel for all of you. For you having to make a choice. For him, thinking he was TRYING to do the right thing, then just giving up when he heard what you had to say...
What is he in jail for? How long will he be there?
I hope everything works out for all of you!
Stay Up!

Dad and Mom said...

probation violation

Gledwood said...

I don't really understand why you did that but I'm sure you had your reasons ...

Gigi said...

I just popped over from Chic Mama -- I haven't had time to read the back story - but your post brought tears to my eyes. I can't imagine what you are going thru right now; but please stay strong. Every thing I read and hear is to stay the course. Tough love is the way to go. You are definitely in my prayers tonight (and going forward). Much love and hugs being sent your way.

Linda said...

I stumbled onto your blog but I feel I am in the right place. We have what seems alot in common.

God bless your family!
Linda

kristi said...

I think everybody deserves a second chance. You gave your son many chances.

It is so hard though.

I went for a long time without talking to my alcoholic brother and when he became addicted to ICE, it was even tougher. I saw him go from a man with his own business, a beautiful home, money in the bank...to just a backpack and nothing else.

He is now doing well, sober, but he still has his issues.

My nephew is in prison, I have posted about him before. When he gets out, we are giving him a chance. We will see how it works out. I hope he doesn't break my heart.