Sunday, March 15, 2009

Where Are We Now?

Here is the update and the plan.

Our son went to court on Thursday, his attorney was a no show so the judge continued everything to April 22. Mom and I both know he will not make it here at home until then. We've had a discussion with him (again) and before he gets the boot we are trying one last time.

We presented an opportunity for him to come up with a plan to ensure his sobriety. We laid it our that we knew from his past that there is probably no way for him to stay clean living here, in our home or even in this city. His basic options are to get an attorney, and his probation officer to speak with a judge and get him sent to The Center, basically a jail with no bars but they have to get a job and work and come back when not at work. Constant drug tests and officers watching over them. Or the second option is to find an Oxford House outside of the KC area, but it has to be in KS, probably someplace like Topeka, Wichita, Hays or Salina. We have offered to help him get set up again in an Oxford House. The stipulation is that failure or relapse is not an option. He controls his success and we will not support any further failures.

His one stay at an Oxford House in Topeka was for 6 months and he stayed clean. That was his longest time clean.

He owes us a detailed plan with defined measures of performance. Guess this is my control side. Before I invest in his plan. 

Success or failure he has been told he must find someplace to begin his recovery and he cannot move back home.


cw2smom said...

I like the fact that you are supportive and clear at the same time! If he did it for six months, then he can do it again, one day at a time! Sending you positive thoughts and prayers for his recovery and your peace of mind! Blessings, Lisa

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the update, I have been wondering how it went. I used to want to believe that this road could be short....but so far its long for everyone I come across. We're just at the beginning.

I am hoping the best for your son.

mother of drug addict said...

I'm so glad you updated, I have been praying for you. and will continue to do so. I know this is hard but I hope this works for you. Good luck with all your going through.

Fractalmom said...

I hope he pulls his head out of his A**. For his sake and for yours both. I will pray for all of you. And kiss that grandbaby. Baby head helps ENORMOUSLY through these times.

Gledwood said...

O this is really depressing...
All I can do is send my best wishes to you and your son, and I hope all gets sorted out for the best

Syd said...

This sounds like it puts the ball in his court which is where it needs to be. I hope that he will take the responsibility and make a decision in favor of recovery. What you did took a lot of strength.

Anonymous said...

I applaud your strength and determination to be fair to your son, but also looking out for your own welfare. I've been lurking, reading comments from people who condemn not letting their addict come home again. Believe me, I understand your decision and I completely support it.

This is hard on your wife, no doubt. She will need your strength, because mom's are nurturers, by nature.

I pray that your son will get into the program that will help him find sobriety.

Every day is a good day, when my son is clean. It's been six weeks, and I am so thankful.


sydney_savage said...

Sounds like a good plan to me! Keep making it HIS problem, and not yours. Doesn't it feel better?

Lou said...

Any sign of his plan yet?

I'm not being sarcastic, I just know how long they can milk an ultimatum.