What's Next

Our son was released from jail yesterday. After his court in Johnson County he was transferred to KCKS. He was there one night and they released him on a PR bond. Needless to say he was calling to get us to pick him up. Mom picked him up on her way home from work.

His story is, on March 12 he goes to see his probation officer and he will then get placed at The Center. Until then he is on his own so he is back at our house.

One consequence of that for us is our daughter called and told us that as long as he was in our house she was not coming over and will not bring our new granddaughter into our house. I can't say I blame her. If I had a new baby I wouldn't expose it to the drugs and life he brings with him.

I am not in a real good frame of mind having him back at home even if it is only for a week. The tension level between mom and I has escalated just because he is around. I cannot allow my anger at the situation spill over into our relationship.

I laid down the law to him last night concerning him being in our house. You can do and decide whatever you want to do but here are the conditions that I am living with and apply to me.

No drugs, stealing or lying. If I find drugs in this home or evidence of drugs usage I will do what I should have done a long time ago. I personally will do whatever is necessary to protect my family and home. Use drugs and you are out of my life and out of anyone's life that I care about. I will see to that personally and do whatever it takes to make it happen. This is until you can prove that you are an honorable person and can live a life of honor. If you chose to never do that then it will be goodbye.

The line has been drawn. There is too much happiness in my life to allow his shit to mess it up. This has been going on too long. Doing the same thing for almost 6 years, crying, pleading and bargaining has not worked. It is the classic definition of insanity if we return to the same methodology to try and fix this problem and expect it to work. Next steps are NEXT STEPS. Drastic? yes but at some point self preservation must be considered. I am beginning to understand that an addict will gladly take you to the grave with them if you allow it to happen.

So, he's back in our house so that means we are the ones in jail. Back to locking up keys, hiding the change jar, locking purses in the car and monitoring phones and computers. No more nights of sleeping well, one eye always open and one ear listening for strangers in the house after we go to bed.

I always hold out the hope for his recovery but I no longer invest myself in it. My real hope is that my investments in the stock market and him both turn around quickly.