Sometimes it is hard to recognize the good because you are always on edge suspecting the bad.
Since my last real post we (all 3 of us) have been trying to live up to our end of the bargain. Truthfully, our life hasn't changed much, the items on the contract was what we expected anyway. Our son has taken it serious though and from what I can tell is trying to fly straight. Fingers crossed, seems like every time I say something like that disaster strikes.
I reminded our son last night that despite his addiction he has the strength to be whatever he wants to be and genetically he is strong enough to do what he sets out to do. I spoke to him of his family and ancestors. The strength each of them had to get to the place we are today. I told him to pull on that strength of us around him and reach deep into himself and use the strength of ancestors that I knew but died long before he ever met them.
The 4th of July is coming up. Our son says he is looking forward to it because he has missed the last 3 years due to being in jail or off drugging. It will be a welcome sight to see him interact with his cousins again. It may be uneasy and I can understand that. He has hurt most all of them in many ways. I hope forgiveness is within them but that is there call. I use to try and make it "right" but I have since learned my lesson on that one. I hope my son can recognize that building back takes a lot more than tearing down. I am hoping that this event that is drama free.
I am looking forward to this holiday. In the tradition of the Bar-Be-Que capital of the world, I will spend 2 days smoking meat. There will be quite a crowd at our house to blow things up on Sunday. To do that it takes food. I am smoking 2 full pork loins, a whole turkey and 2 slabs of ribs plus a huge pot of beans cooked open on the smoker infused with sausage, pork and brisket. They are almost a meal in themselves. Anyone hungry? Come on down, I am sure there will be plenty. It may not be politically correct on a blog about addiction but I just call this holiday the National Holiday of Alcohol and Gunpowder. From our house we can actually see 4 fireworks shows. We can see the Basehor show, the Cedar Lake show, a neighbors show (I think they may secretly be mad scientist pyromaniacs) and our own show. We have a good placement for the holiday events.