Acceptance or resignation, no matter what you call it we arrive there at different times. Looking back I can see definite stages of life parenting an addict. Fight it, fix it, love'em, frustrated, re-energize, WTF and finally we get to the acceptance stage.
I'm not sure unless maybe you have previous experience with addiction or alcoholism you can skip these; there may be even more but these are the ones I have been thinking about lately. Maybe with counsel and a lot of hand holding you can speed your way through but as a parent there is that inside feeling that you cannot get rid of without progressing through each stage at your own pace; this the emotional side of being close to an addict that also happens to be your child.
There is a lot more to it than the three C's, control, cause and cure. Maybe this is old news for some of you that are 12 stepper's. I've never been able to get into that program but I have a respect for anything that works for anybody. It's not about how you get to a place it is about arriving safely.
Personally I have finally come to realize that acceptance and resignation is not a show of defeat. If it was considered a defeat, with my personality I'd probably still be fighting. For me it means I have tried every strategy I could conceive to fix or manipulate this problem but the problem continues. I have now come to realize it is not a "problem", it is a "state of being" and a reality for me, my son, and for all of those around us.
The choice for us all is at what time we reach our destination. I can see for some they may never get there. Sometimes the ultimate tragedy is that our addict shortens the trip, that is a reality that can become so real every day. But ultimately it really is our choice about when we arrive.