Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Come Out Of The Dark

Since January 6 of this year I know of three sons and daughters that have died from addiction. A terrible reality of this disease. 2 of these family's suffered with this disease alone.

The stigma of addiction still to this day creates shame for many. It is hard to face friends and family. For whatever the reason so many suffer through this alone. Parents cry together privately and smile in public. All the while a monster is stalking their child and invading their life.

In the United States every 19 minutes another person dies from addiction. This isn't our dirty little secret. This is an elephant in the room. Take off the mask. Monsters live in the dark and secrecy is the fuel for growth.

I'm not chastising anyone that can only deal with this in private. However I am telling you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Suffering from addiction or suffering because a loved one is addicted is a given, suffering alone is not helpful for anyone.

I started this blog anonymously. I wrote about our issues but I left our names on the sideline. Today we are very public. Darlene and I decided to go public when Alex was still using. Taking off the covers was the best thing we ever did. It freed us to seek help, it freed us be open, but must most of all it freed us to accept the love and help from all of you.

14 comments:

Syd said...

So true, Ron. I see and hear those in Al-Anon say, "Finally, we know that we are not alone. We have each of you and this meeting where we can share our thoughts." It is really touching. And there are so many out there who do suffer in silence.

val paulson said...

Thank you again for these posts. I truly have found more understanding about this disease through this venue.It is reassuring to know you are not alone in this terrible journey. I have always been very open about my son's addiction but hid my hurt,anger,and fears behind my anger.I am now learning to be more compassionate about this disease.

Tori said...

I have grown so much through this community. Not feeling alone made a huge difference in the way I dealt and continue to deal with his addiction.

Anonymous said...

I can't tell how much these blogs have helped me. My life and my problems have not gone away; but I have been able to still get up each day knowing I'm not alone. Thank you.

Cynthia Pylkka said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Thank you Ron and Darlene.I learn more from reading the blogs in this community than anywhere else,most important I know I am not alone as the parent of an 18 year old addict,my family and friends just cannot relate or understand what we are experiencing from this tragic disease. Lisa

Barbara said...

Yes, shared this on FB.

Thanks for all you do, you do a lot.

Anonymous said...

Im one of those of people who remain private. Only a very few know of the struggles of my 16 yr old son. After he overdosed and was in a coma for weeks and had to have a pacemaker put in his heart after going into cardiac arrest, I have shut down. My family and friends just dont get it and I guess maybe in a way I feel like I was a bad parent.....it is truly a hellish nightmare and he is still using. :(

Anonymous said...

Try to find a nar anon meeting where you can feel safe and be able to share . Blogs help but I found that getting involved in a good group with real people face to face was a lifesaver for me.

Christine Hamilton said...

Hi my name is Christine. Im from Mcalester oklahoma and my son is a drug addict. we have been dealing with this for 5 years now, he just turned 20 and we thought we had this licked. He has been in and out of 4 rehabs, been to jail for almost a year. He was recently court ordered to go to rehab, he went for 4 days and walked out. I am having such a hard time with this.I just dont know what else to do for him. I know now that it has to be up to him to want to get better. He is now homeless and we have no idea where he is.My heart is breaking and I find that I can think of nothing else. Im glad to know that i am not alone in this.

Anonymous said...

THank you Ron and Darlene. I have learnt so much about this evil monster from your blog, most important was to let go with love. I too have kept my 28yr old sons addition private,the shame, anger and suffering, my family would never understand. Last September my son was sent to prison for 5 years. He was detoxed and has been clean for 5 months. I know he is safe, and now well. I can get on with my life now. I send love and healing to you all.

Dinah Gerdts said...

There are a lot of people who choose to suffer alone because they think that it’s better if they deal with their matters on their own and avoid including others in their problem. Though the intention may be good and considerate of others, I agree that most of the time it is better to have someone to express your thoughts and feelings to. It is not healthy to keep everything to yourself because you tend to overthink and that may bring about unnecessary thoughts. I understand that teenagers somehow draw away in communicating with their parents at this stage, so I think that parents should also put in an extra effort in trying to talk to their sons and daughters, especially when you sense that there’s something different about your children.

Dinah Gerdts

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry ....my daughter is in rehab right now. I don't know what to do. You are not alone

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