Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Come Out Of The Dark

Since January 6 of this year I know of three sons and daughters that have died from addiction. A terrible reality of this disease. 2 of these family's suffered with this disease alone.

The stigma of addiction still to this day creates shame for many. It is hard to face friends and family. For whatever the reason so many suffer through this alone. Parents cry together privately and smile in public. All the while a monster is stalking their child and invading their life.

In the United States every 19 minutes another person dies from addiction. This isn't our dirty little secret. This is an elephant in the room. Take off the mask. Monsters live in the dark and secrecy is the fuel for growth.

I'm not chastising anyone that can only deal with this in private. However I am telling you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Suffering from addiction or suffering because a loved one is addicted is a given, suffering alone is not helpful for anyone.

I started this blog anonymously. I wrote about our issues but I left our names on the sideline. Today we are very public. Darlene and I decided to go public when Alex was still using. Taking off the covers was the best thing we ever did. It freed us to seek help, it freed us be open, but must most of all it freed us to accept the love and help from all of you.

Thursday, February 21, 2013


The monster stole another poor child. Two parents are heartbroken and sick. This morning a friend text me that his friends daughter died last night at 8:30. He has been friends with and known her dad and mom since high school. So young and so pretty.

I hate this shit.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Partnership Initiatives

As many of you know a few years ago The Partnership at Drugfree.org ask me to write essays for them to post on the Intervene page of their website.  A while later they ask me if I would be interested in volunteering to be a Parent Ambassador which I accepted. One reader, who shall remain nameless at this time (B.L.), reminded me that "ass" was the center of ambassador. So naturally I felt honored and was completely qualified for the task.

There are two initiatives that The Partnership is involved in now and I would encourage any of you that read my blog to consider.

The first is the National Parent Network. This is an evolution of the Parent Ambassador program. Here is the basics of this program and if you are interested please e-mail Becky. She is the Regional Director of this initiative.

Are you a parent and have a personal experience with teen substance abuse? Would you have time to volunteer your wisdom and expertise to help other families touched by teen drug and alcohol use? If so, please contact Becky Vance, Regional Director of the National Parent Network, (becky_vance@drugfree.org), let us know why you’d like to help, and learn how you can join our National Parent Network.

Another program in which I have taken part is the National Hope Share. It is about sharing your story in order for everyone, addict or loved one to know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE in this world of addiction, there are people to help. If you are able please share your story. "Your story can change someone else's."  The Hope Share

Monday, February 4, 2013

Surprised and Overwhelmed

On Saturday we went to visit my brother. His health issues are still front and center. It's not good. Not much to say beyond that, if you smoke, STOP. Stop now, stop today, NO MORE.

When we got home about midnight and pulled into our driveway I get the evil eye from Mom. There were boxes sitting on our front porch. That's not a good thing for me. When I order tools online for my wood shop boxes would appear on our front porch, then I had explaining to do about how I HAD to have this latest gadget or tool.

Immediately I got defensive. "I didn't order anything!" (besides I have learned when I order something now I get it delivered to the office and I can sneak it to the basement.)

Bringing the boxes in the house they were from ProFlowers. A reader in TX that I had answered a couple personal e-mails and spoke on the phone to once sent us flowers. After the day we had with my brother it was quite special to find a box of roses all multiple colors waiting for you. I really don't have the words to express how special that was and what it meant to us at midnight on Saturday.

The second box was addressed to Alex and Kristy. We took them down to their house on Sunday morning. More roses and chocolates congratulating them on their engagement. It's hard to floor them two but they were taken back also. Alex's first question was "Why?" Second was, "How is their son, is he still getting high?" At that time I didn't know so I just said, "I don't know." Alex just slumped down and shook his head. That said more than enough for me.

To a special Father and Mother who shall remain nameless here. Thank you very much and our every wish is that one day your son will seek recovery and you will feel the joy and gratitude only the parent of an addict can experience.