Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Fathers Recovery

It has been over a week since I posted anything but I read others blogs everyday and comment on some.

It is harder to write about about my son's addiction/recovery when I am not directly involved in his life with him living under our roof. It is easier for me to cruise along fat dumb and happy when I am not exposed to his daily drama, no matter if he is using or working on his recovery. So right now I am basking in my fat, dumb and happy life.

As I progress through this, what do you really call being the parent of an addict? I change how I act and react. My current stage and thought processes are that I wasn't involved in the beginning of his using. In fact he kept it very secret from all of us. At this time if he serious about recovery than it is perfectly OK for him to go through this part of addiction without me too. He seems to have found a girl he cares for and if she enough of an influence to make him want to stay clean than I am happy for him and her. So the reality is there is not much to report on my son's status, I just don't know anything for sure.

One thing for sure though I do know our little granddaughter is a joy for us. She is quite different than that little profile picture on my blog. She gets her way around grandma and grandpa, much to mom and dad's chagrin.

ps.: Another mom dealing with heartache:


Jake's Mom said...

What a beautiful little girl!! Enjoy your fat, dumb and happy existance while you can....I cherish those times in my own life as well!

Barbara said...

She is too adorable, and I am not just saying this...she looks like you!

Sounds like you have a good handle on dealing with (or not dealing with) your son's recovery. I hope he continues to do well!

I wouldn't go as far to describe yourself as fat, dumb and happy, Ron. You are not dumb.

Addiction--Mom trying to Detach with Love said...

Glad to see you are staying happy and allowing your son to work his own recovery. She is so precious!

Bristolvol said...

This is exactly how I have been living my life. Occasionally, when someone tells me about an encounter they have had with my daughter, my heart will start racing and I start crying. My addict daughter is always in the back of my mind. A picture of her and me on the beach is on my desk at work. In the meantime I am happy go lucky, enjoying my son's children and life. Your little one is a doll!

Fractalmom said...

ron, I think you are exactly where you should be, not worrying about Alex, what he is or isn't doing and living your life for YOU and your wife and your other kids and that absolutely adorable granddaughter!!

how is your wife handling everything?

Anna said...

you are in recovery too! It is our recovery when we can enjoy our own lives regardless of the actions of the addict.

Your granddaughter is cute. She looks just like your wife. You are neither dumb nor fat but enjoy yourself just the same.

Syd said...

Awesome Ron that you are enjoying life and not getting lost in your son's problems. Enjoy the granddaughter. Life is full of good people and great things.

Heather's Mom said...

Oh my gosh she is such a doll :) What a joy!
I'm going about my fat dumb happy life too - as long as I don't think about it - as soon as I do I get all worried, obsessed and worked up (and think of all these things she "should be doing" or could be doing) - so I say the serenity prayer, use some mental Al-Anon tools, and try to get back to my fat dumb happy life. I like that thought :)
God bless.

Her Big Sad said...

That granddaughter is adorable! What a joy to have her to hug and treasure! I think you are doing great - letting your son handle his recovery and you're handling your own life... which as I recall was pretty busy outside of the addiction issues anyway.... How is your mom doing these days? And yes, how is Mom? I wish you both a peaceful Memorial Day weekend with lots of love and laughter! And maybe a long ride!!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful granddaughter and your blog gives hope to us all.