I have been really intense on allowing Alex to find his own way. Listening and following is not one of my strong traits. On Friday it was father-in-laws 81st birthday and we all gathered at a local restaurant for dinner and returned home for pie and ice cream. He likes pie more than cake. The daughters left early to finish their shopping. I took Alex to a friends house to hang out. On the way over there Alex began to talk. I'm not going to get into any details but from Dad's perspective it was probably the best father/son discussion we have ever had. I learned by listening and adding my perspective when it was right.
I'm not saying we have turned the corner because I know it is a long way back and he told me how hard it is but he also said that world is in the past. When he speaks of the past that has a real meaning in our family. I always, for a long as I remember spoke of life as a walk down a sidewalk. As you look back over your shoulder there is nothing we can do but learn from the past. The concrete on the sidewalk past is hardened, and no matter whether it is pretty or ugly nothing can be done to improve or change it. The concrete around our feet is hardening as we walk. It we stop our progress we will become frozen and stuck, the concrete continues to harden no matter what is happening, we must keep moving forward. The concrete in front of us is just being poured. We can shape it, mold it, make hills, make curves, be creative, put in designs, even put our name on it (who hasn't scratched their initials in wet concrete) but that is all about what is in front of us. Alex spoke well of the difference of the past and future.
He has heard my lectures in the past, I really thought I was being tuned out.