Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Countdown, Christmas T-9 Days and Counting

A substantial change is in place from Christmas preparations of the last few years. One year ago he was in jail and slated to be there for a while and then unannounced at 5pm on Christmas Eve the sheriff dropped him in our driveway with a house arrest monitor. We followed our normal plans to be at my cousins for our family Christmas celebration. He hooked up his monitor and called them to tell them there was something wrong with it and they said OK bring it back in on the day after Christmas. Needless to say as soon as we left, he left. We spent Christmas morning with him passed out and barely coherent the rest of the day. I don't need to describe the graphic details to anyone familiar with this condition.

Today Alex is home, he is clean (our fingers and toes crossed) and he seems intent on his staying that way. Dad and Mom are still cautious, too many times of being hurt when hopes exceeded reality.

The season of joy and happiness is fulfilling its promise. Dad and Mom are getting better at learning the limit of our control is our own lives. That in itself is bringing more peace than we have felt for many years.

We have a busy winter season ahead. As if Christmas and New Years is not enough our second daughter is getting married in January and it is going to be a beach wedding south of Cancun in Mexico. We are all going along with numerous family and friends. When we return we have a big reception, upwards of 200 planned for the weekend we get back.

I need to brush up on my Spanish, uno cerveza, por favor, gracias. OK that's it. As far as I am concerned I know all I need to know, I am now bi-lingual .

I can't help but think of all our friends on here, and their children and loved ones fighting this disease. In no way do I consider us out of the jungle, more like a small clearing. We know so well that heartache of an empty chair at the table and a missing heart around the tree. Our thoughts are with each and everyone of you as this holiday arrives. Never ever lose hope, where there is life there is hope. I believe in each and every one of our children, there is a home, there is life and there is love.

13 comments:

Carol said...

Thank you for giving me hope. I am a parent with an empty chair and missing heart. He is incarcerated this Christmas. Prayers please that he is accepted into the state-run drug program, so that he may learn to live his life like a man now. Thank you!

Fractalmom said...

Merry Christmas to your family!

clean and crazy said...

oh you sound really good though, for everything going on. you are not owning his life and that is good.
awesome about cancun!! wow hey you might need this little phrase;'donde esta la bano?'
that is where is the bathroom? and bano is pronounced 'banyo'.
anyway happy holidays sorry to hear he relapsed i hope he gets involved with NA, but we are powerless then aren't we? i will keep you in my prayers!!

Dad and Mom said...

i do know bano because if you know cerveza you must at sometime learn bano.

Kim A. said...

We have an empty chair too and while I will miss him, he is in much better hands than mine. Your sentiments are from the heart...thank you.

Namaste

Mom of Opiate Addict said...

My son is home, but the chair may still be empty. I hope your holiday is filled with more joy than you can imagine:)

Anonymous said...

We had an empty chair and a missing heart last year for the first time in 24 years...it was very hard to go see my son in jail the weekend before Christmas...I was looking forward to a new beginning this year...but as of last night, the chair may be empty again...and several hearts broken...

Keep writing and sharing...you never know who will need and read....

Barbara aka Layla said...

I' el ll tiene un margarita!

I'm glad Alex will be there for Christmas. Thank you for your encouraging words. I'm another one that will have an empty chair this Christmas but I will get to see him at the rehab Christmas Eve and am thankful for that.

Syd said...

An awesome message here. Thank you for sharing the message of hope with all of us.

LisaC said...

Thank you for hope. Last Christmas we were checking him in to detox after a mini-intervention by my brother. This Christmas he is in rehab, clean for two months and yes, there is hope. Thank you for your kind message to us all; and I pray for a wonderful Christmas for you and your family.

Heather's Mom said...

It's so nice to see what a difference a year makes. I wish your family the best this season. And my gosh, a wedding in Mexico - how exciting! And I think a trip to Mexico requires Mom to get to go on a shopping spree - gotta have the right wedding and Mexico outfits you know... :)

Dad and Mom said...

Heather's Mom

Trust me that has been going on for a while now. Do you know how hard it is to find warm beach weather clothes in KC in December when it is 15 degrees outside? They all started in August on the shopping and I am still waiting for it to end!

Dad

Heather's Mom said...

I have to laugh, we lived in South Florida until last year - and every winter it would be 90 degrees, but the chain stores (Macy's, Dillard's etc.) all carried SWEATERS and winter clothes (couldn't find summer clothes - you'd think you could find a SWIMSUIT!!!) - I'd always wonder about the logic of that??? I guess all the stores countrywide were on the same buying plan! Needed a smile before heading to bed (what am I doing up at 1:45 am anyway???). I can appreciate that the shopping started in August - preparedness is key!!! Thank you :) 'Night!