Tuesday, November 3, 2009

There is Hope. . .

The email we received from J. this weekend was surprising to say the least. It was wonderful to see that he was getting clean and doing the steps to stay that way. I think his blog will help me understand just what he and my son were going through.

This actually wasn't the first apology I had gotten from someone that had done drugs with my son. One day while having lunch at the grill across from my downtown office, a young man in painter's clothes came up to me. He asked if I knew who he was. I said yes, and called him by name. He said that he wanted to come over an apologize for getting Alex started down the wrong path of life. You see, he is the one that had first introduced our son to drugs. Back then, when I found out, I had forbid Alex to see or go over to his house (lot of good that did since he lived within walking distance to the high school). Alex had told me a couple of years ago that this fellow had gotten clean, gotten a good job painting and had found religion. He continued on telling me how he hoped Alex could get his life together, as well. He said he felt responsible for Alex's troubles. At the time I was relieved he's put it that way because the co-worker I was lunching with didn't know anything about Alex's troubles ( that is a story for another time). I smiled at him and said that I hoped Alex could get his life straightened out as well. He said he'd let me get back to my lunch, he had just wanted to apologize to me and Alex's dad for a long time. That day seemed like a good opportunity, since he saw me sitting there. I thanked him for coming over and wished him well.

When he left I sat there half thankful that he had gotten his life together and believe it or not half jealous that he - who had introduced the poison to my son-appeared to be doing so well. I wanted that for my son. 

I've been thinking after this latest apology, what courage these guys have had to come to me and dad. I hope they know how good it feels to us, not just to receive the apology but more getting the courage to approach us on their own. By doing this they have showed us there is hope for our son-- and your son or daughter as well.

~mom~

9 comments:

Mom of Opiate Addict said...

Mom, thank you so much for sharing this with us and spreading the hope by doing so. I thought the same thing about half way through this post, how I would be jealous also. You and Dad are very special people as evidenced by these young men feeling the need to make amends to you both. (((HUGS)))

Annette said...

Oh Mom so good to hear from you. I love to see anyone make it! It gives me hope for my own daughter, but also I care about her friends too. I am so happy when they get into treatment and they are clean for awhile and get jobs and build a life for themselves. It means our kids can too. Its just a bright spot no matter whose kid it is.

clean and crazy said...

wow, the 9th step is an amazing part of recovery. it is the ninth step because we first need to have faith and forgive ourselves before we can actually do anyone else any good.
what a powerful post. i am glad you saw some good in that amends. i am glad it didn't harm you.

Syd said...

There can be redemption. I feel that when amends are made. And forgiveness is much better than hatred.

Gin said...

This is so wonderful! Amends are such a beautiful thing.

Debby of Oxycontin and Opiate Addiction: A Mother's Story said...

What a powerful story to read from you, Mom. Several of my son's friends are sober now. I believe it, because they are no longer friends with my son. One day, I hope that my son will have the courage to make amends. He just has to start with Step #1.
Blessings to you.

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

Hi Mom! So good to hear from you. I think all of us would have felt that same tinge of jealousy mixed with appreciation. I would faint if the guy who got my son started said that to me....but he's never gotten clean himself. Thanks for this hopeful reminder. Don't forget to tell us the story of what the co-worker thought when he/she heard this conversation! That may have been a bit awkward.

Her Big Sad said...

Hi Mom! I identify with that feeling... I am often invited by daughter's friends to sit in meetings when they take their birthday chips. I am sooooooooo happy for them, but yes, I understand the painful wish that it was MY addict up there! I've known the joy of watching her get her one year chip, and her 18 months... she relapsed a week before two years and has been having trouble getting that much time again. But those who make it even further give me MUCH HOPE! Thanks for sharing this encounter!

kristi said...

when my son was diagnosed with Autism, I was mad! I was not happy about the fact that my niece who did drugs through her pregnancies had "normal" babies. I understand the anger.