As I read through blogs of other parents dealing with the same issues the differences of situation vary all over the board. There are parents of addicts raising their grandchildren as their own. There are parents in all stages of reconciliation with this disease and the pain. Parents are struggling with acceptance of the problem and even some refusing acceptance of the truths involved in addiction. I reflect on our own experiences and struggles of acceptance and reality and the rough path it was to reach this point. Today, with a harsh reality staring me down at every corner, this is not over yet. Is it ever over?
I think that is the hardest issue for us and maybe for many others wearing our shoes. Is this ever over? When is the rest and peace that we long for? Our reality is not the reality of dreams when we held that tiny baby born one month early. Our reality is to love an addict and continue to help him fight this disease. How hard it is learning lessons from past mistakes and trying not to to enable him, prolonging his treatment and recovery. Where do you go for those answers? Not so long ago our questions could always could be traced back to that horrible unanswerable word, WHY. Now I feel we are balancing on the next step of, WHAT. What's the next thing to do, what do we do to help, what about this, what about that.
One thing I am sure of in this whole process. I believe in my son. I believe he is capable of subduing this demon. I believe he can be in control of his life and destiny. I believe there are dreams within him that are not yet attained. I believe one day he will grow from these experiences.
A message I want to send to every addicted child out there with loving parents hanging by a thread at times. I believe in you, too. Take that first step in believing in your yourself. It's risky believing in an addict, but if you believe in yourself you may go places you haven't thought of going for a long time.