As the first first snowfall of the season blankets Kansas City there brings a feeling of peace for the season in me. Although I am not a religious person I appreciate this time of year. When traditionally a feeling of peace and love is suppose to overtake us all and sweep everyone into a blissful state good cheer it doesn't always happen that way for all.
Parents of an addict know how painful it is during the holiday season. Our expectations lead us to imagine this perfect season. We ache for that time before the monster of addiction invaded our family. Then all of a sudden reality snaps us back to the heartache of a loved one afflicted with this terrible disease.
On another blog long ago, I don't remember who said it but I have always remembered the thought. "An expectation is nothing more than a premature disappointment." When I first read that I remember thinking to myself what a sad life that must be to be a parent that believes something like that to be true. Like I said, that was a long time ago. As I lived I learned more about myself and more about addiction, no longer is that phrase sad, that phrase is freedom.
This holiday can be a time of peace for parents of an addict as long as we remember to accept what is given and accept that our loved one is suffering from the disease of addiction.
Addiction takes no holiday. Share your love, share the holiday.
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6 comments:
My stepson's last Christmas spent with our family was 2011. Christmas of 2012... he chose not to even join his family, though his dad drove up to see for himself that he was alright. He had actually bought a gift for his dad!
He was dead by Christmas of 2013... at 21... lost to his addictions. My heart goes out to all the parents going through this.
My daughter is in the county jail this evening as the rest of our family (our 3 other children and our 5 grandchildren,my mother in law, brother in law and my parents)celebrated Christmas tonight. She got picked up yesterday at our house by the police and is now facing a felony. This evil addiction entered our home about 9 or 10 years ago. My husband and I are helping to raise her two children. I was sitting here in the dark and all I know to do is to pray. I feel frozen with sadness. God says he will not give me more than I can bear. Please God...Help me cope. Thanks for allowing me to comment. Donna in Texas
Donna,
I know how much it hurts. We had holidays and birthdays while our son was in jail.
They may sound like empty words but take care of yourself and those other babies. I'll tell you, where there is life there is hope. Sounded like despite your daughter in jail you were surrounded by life and love. With that much life how can there be anything but hope.
ps., We learned to think of jail as "Protective Custody" She may be safer there at times than out and using.
I have read your blog on and off for a year now and I find it to be helpful. I myself finally "broke my silence" and have been addressing my sons addiction issues in my blog (which is mostly about running) called librarygirlontherun.blogspot.com
I have been humbled by the love and support that I have gotten from my running friends.
We have given our son our final "gift" of help as his Christmas gift. We have paid his rent for one month in a sober living community and will help him with food and I am allowing him to use my old fashioned flip phone for the following week to help him find a job. After this we are done he is 22 years old and I can no longer be a hostage to his addiction. I fear he will begin selling drugs again. Atleast I have taken the stand that he can NEVER again live in my home. My husband and our other son who is 20 years old are exhausted and sick of his addiction. Thanks for listening. BTW I live south of Wichita Kansas.
I wish that there wasn't so much pain and suffering, both for the addict and for the family. Take care, Ron. Where there is life, there is hope--indeed true.
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