Wednesday, December 31, 2014

An End of Year Update

Many regular and long time readers may have noticed that there was no attempt at humor on my blog this holiday. For those not initiated you an go back and read other posts from right before Christmas. This year it has been more about a quiet appreciation for me.

Today is my birthday and the last day of 2014. Today I give pause to the pace of the holiday celebrations to think about what was and what is.

For those parents still embroiled daily in the chaos simply because you love someone that is addicted; give pause and count your blessing that no matter how bad it can be there are parents out there that would give their last breath simply to hold their child one more time. Where there is life there is hope. I am not trying to minimize your pain and anguish. Your pain is real, I know that pain in your heart. My point is that life today is not life tomorrow. I stand in awe every time I see my son. I know that in 2010 I had nearly give up son for dead. I could not find the hope to allow me to imagine the possible. I was drowning in the probable. When you find yourself in the pain I had come to accept step back and take care of yourself, you are not alone.

Today I have learned to appreciate the day. I was always looking towards tomorrow and did not allow myself to appreciate the gift of NOW. I was the guy that when a task needed to be done I did it because I could get it done so much faster myself. Grandchildren have taught me that slowing down, handing a grandchild a wrench and allowing a 2, 3 and 6 year old to fumble as I watch can create pleasure and satisfaction rather than impatience.

I have learned that what I am is what others had allowed me to become. I have resigned my job and today as I stood in front of a group of nearly 50 people in the break room I looked at these great people, most of them I hired, and I knew my success was the result of their success. None of us are islands in wild and angry sea. Every island is connected to every other piece of land in the whole world. There may be turbulent seas separating us at times but when you dive deep enough there is one big rock connecting each of us no matter the differences.

Today I have everything in the world I need. No presents required or allowed for this birthday boy. There are people in my life that love me, probably more than I deserve. There are untold numbers of people I love. I am one of the luckiest persons alive to be able to be connected this way to so many people. So many of you that read this blog carried me when I could not walk. I already have everything in the world I need. Thank you.

Happy New Year to All


Tori said...

Happy Birthday Ron!

And usual great post!

Debby of Oxycontin and Opiate Addiction: A Mother's Story said...

Dear Ron,
Funny, but today I felt compelled to write a post on my long-neglected blog. I always think of you, first, as someone who help my hand during some really rough times. I remember that Alex was in the throes of his addiction, as was my own son. You understood, and never judged me. I am so happy to read that your son is doing so well. It is all we could ever hope for! My son, too, is doing fantastic. Sometimes, I feel guilty when others are suffering so much. I hope that you continue to share your gift of encouragement to those who are in that dark place that I once was. Happy Birthday, and happy retirement! One of these days, we are going to head to Missouri, and I want to visit KC! I will see if you are around for some KC BBQ or to pick apples from that tree in your backyard. Happy New Year!

Dad and Mom said...


Thank you for the comment. Not retired, I was offered a great opportunity and I thought it would be great to go out to pasture with a bang. So I took a very challenging position but it is something I wanted to do while I had the chance.

Richard Ryan said...

Happy New Year to you and your famiily, Ron! Thank you for sharing your experience and expertise. It is SO apreciated

Anne Peterson said...

I really appreciated your post. With few words you painted a picture of how difficult it must be to parent a child who is addicted. When my son was a teenager I wasn't even aware that he was sniffing chemicals. Then he was cutting and once again, it was without me knowing. The household was chaotic but not because of Nathan, because of trying to just cope with my husband. In time, we found out Mike needed medication. But even so, he made a couple suicide attempts. You say that we are not islands, but not everyone understands the craziness that paints our walls. Just wanted you to know I appreciated your post.

Anonymous said...

Happy belated Birthday to you Ron! You are absolutely right, you are truly blessed! Best wishes to you and your family.

Syd said...

Happy belated birthday, Ron. I can feel the peace in you from your writing. It's good after so much turmoil to slow down and just enjoy the day. I hope that the year will be a good one for you and your family. You are inspirational to so many of us.