Peace in the Woodshop

I know why I was able to find peace in my workshop while my son was using.

In my shop I have a Coping Saw.

I know, I know, it's a dumb joke but it works for me.

Are You A Fixer?

The absolute worst thing that can happen to a fixer happened to me this week. This week the hard drive in my computer crashed. I am not a techie but that never stopped someone that is a fixer. YouTube is like crack and meth combined to a fixer.

Off came the back of my Macbook. Screws were laying all over the table. Why stop at replacing a hard drive, why not change the battery too, it's old and getting fire hot when I use the computer too. So old parts laying on the kitchen table, new parts installed now it is off to the Genius Bar to get an operating system loaded. Everything works and the installation of an operating system was free.

This is like mainlining for a fixer. My computer is working again, except that I didn't get a big enough hard drive. So more "fixing" will be in order.

Why would this be important to write about on a blog about addiction? Because us "fixers" don't stop at computers, cars, plumbing, electrical wiring and on and on. We believe deep in our soul that we can fix our addicted loved one too.

There is a world of difference between diagnosing a problem, watching a YouTube video, picking up a screwdriver and replacing the right parts and "fixing" our loved one.

It took this "fixer" years to learn that no matter what I tried and how much "control" I thought I had there is no "fixing" another person until they want to fix themselves.

The worst thing that can happen to us fixers is we dive in the shallow end head first and swim away triumphant. We get that Superman complex and all it does is handicap us when real problems confront us.

It is important we ALL understand our limits and boundaries. Sometimes a "fixer" needs to be a "supporter".

Parent Support Network

The Partnership for Drugfree Kids has launched a very successful program to help parents of addicts. This is the program I went to New York last year to be trained in the charter group of parents to help others.

The Partnership is looking for more great parents to take part in this groundbreaking and highly successful program. This time the training is coming to you.

If you are in the New Orleans, Los Angeles, Pittsburgh and Boston areas they are looking for parents to train and take part in helping parents all over the country.

If you have an interest in learning more go to this information page and survey to inquire. From personal experience, you won't be sorry and you won't ever meet a better group of people devoted to helping others. The personal rewards of helping other parents navigate through the hell we have all experienced is rewarding
beyond measure.

Parent Support Network Info and Survey page.

First Aid Kit for Parents of Addicts

As I walk around my work I see first aid kits on the wall. In many stores, arenas, airplanes you see a heart defibrillator. Driving down the street I pass fire stations and police stations. There are urgent care centers and hospitals. Everywhere I see people, places and emergency kits for people in crisis.

As the parent of an addict where do we turn for our crisis? What do we do when you don't know what to do? Where is our first aid? Who comes to us with lights flashing, sirens screaming and emergency technicians?

Our help is left to us. It's up to us to seek our own treatment, diagnose, what is hurting us and then prescribe our own treatment. Who has a first aid kit for parents of an addict hanging on their wall? Has anyone even seen one before? I haven't seen one yet so I thought maybe we should create our own.

If I had to create my own first aid kit for parents of addicts here are some of the things I would stock.

• A list of things that no matter what bring joy in my life. 
• Phone numbers of people that have walked in my shoes that never turn off their phone.
• Pictures of me in my lifeboat. 
• Emergency phone numbers of help lines that can help me or my child.
• Probably a piece of chocolate.
• Six inspirational sayings or quotes that speak to me deep inside each time I see them.
• Reminders: take a deep breath, it's OK to cry, you are not alone, the sun will rise again in the morning.
• A list of people that love me unconditionally, that know I need them and they don't judge me.

These are some things I would consider essential in a first aid kits for the parent of an addict. What have I forgotten? What else would you add the the kit?