Thursday, January 19, 2012

3rd Anniversary

What can I say that hasn't been said before. Three years of writing about our life parenting an addict. It has gone from hell to..........what I consider, normal life. With all the joys and problems of being a parent of grown responsible children. Plus the added bonus of grandchildren that make you smile and your heart flip flop just by coming to visit.

My annual gratitude goes out to all of you that read and comment to my posts. I say it over and over but I truly believe none of my family would be at this place without all of your support and comments. Forever I am in your debt.

I want to share what it is like for Alex now from my perspective today. I shared so much in describing his active addiction it is only fair that I open my thoughts to what it is like today.

Alex is a father. I don't mean a baby-daddy I mean it as he is a real Dad. He is raising a baby and helping with Kristy's two daughters. On last Saturday mom called him and he couldn't talk, he was at the girls basketball game and he was at the scorers table because he volunteers to be the scorekeeper. (they won)

Alex ask me if I had bought tax preparation software for this year. He wants to come over so he can do his taxes.

Alex works hard and responsibly at a job. He was sick a couple weeks ago. The baby had been sick along with everyone in the house. Alex called in to work to say he would not be in because he was sick too and had been up all night throwing up. Dad was sad because they were all sick. The thought of "drug sick" did not even enter my mind until they next day when I chuckled and thought not so long ago my first thought was, "serves you right I hope it hurts really bad."

Alex loves his sisters and their families. He asks about them and if they will be there when we invite him and his family over. When we say no they won't be here there is a sorrowful, "Oh". When we say yes you can hear the excitement in his response, "Good".

What more can I say to describe the difference. I have put those past years in a box and on the proverbial spare bedroom closet shelf. Closed up in a box. I know I can never get rid of that box but the contents no longer must be displayed in the living room and setting out open on the fireplace mantel. I know one day I will take that box to the basement and put it on the high shelf in the back. It will sit along side some of the boxes of my own life that have not seen light or been opened for decades.

Those boxes are OUR life. We get to deal with them and place them anywhere we choose. Some of those "boxes" are photo books sitting on the coffee table. Some rest in the basement. Truth is they are all equally important, they are what made me into what I am today.


11 comments:

Syd said...

I am glad for all concerned, Ron. You have been through a lot. I have those memories that I shelve as well. And the more years of sobriety, the more the bad times fade. I am grateful beyond expression of what has transpired in our lives.

Lou said...

I wish people didn't have such black and white thinking about addiction. That there is only one set of responses for every person, anything else is enabling or wrong. If it was that simple, there would be no addicts. All of us would just do the "right" thing, and the addict would be cured.

We have both tried to share our hope and experience in our own way. We love them, we did the best we could with what we knew at the time.

I hope at the end of our lives we have many, many boxes and they are overflowing with pictures of the good times!

Terri said...

Thank you for sharing that post and for all your encouragement over the past few months. Blessings to you and your entire family

Hattie Heaton (Mom of an Addict) said...

Yes...it is so important to mark the good. I too am so thankful for every "normal" thing we start to see. Congrats on this milestone.

Becky V said...

Ron, what a great post, as usual! It brought me into gratitude this morning and I always need that. I am so happy for you and your family. I know that this post will inspire so many others to realize they are not alone and that recovery is possible! Blessings to all of the Grover clan!

Lisa said...

Wonderful post; and we just celebrated 2 years 3 month clean. I am not even counting now, except when writing something like this where I need to say it.

Bryan started school (1 class) and continues to work all the other days that he is not at school. He is leading a normal 23-year olds life with goals and objectives; and at least once a day I have a flash of the past and then stop and say Thank You to God and to Bryan for the choices he made and the work he has done to get there. I am so happy for Alex and his family and for you and Mom. I think you found my blog originally and brought me into this loving and caring community. Thank you.

Tori said...

I am so grateful you continue to write. We all know what you went through and it seems like in an instant it changed. I know it didn't but the main thing is how well Alex is doing right now and it continues to give me hope that it will get better.

A Mom's Serious Blunder said...

Congratulations on reaching this point. I thought I was close to reaching this point at one time but I realize it was all an illusion I was desperately clinging to. I don't believe in happily ever afters anymore but I am grateful to witness Alex's success.

Dad and Mom said...

Lisa,

Please e-mail me.

teamplayer@aol.com

Anonymous said...

Hello, my name is blake minnerly (bminnerly@nmmediaarts.org) and I am a teacher at the Media Arts Collaborative Charter School, in Albuquerque, NM. Last year we lost a student to heroin overdose. She was only 16. In reaction, the students in my music production class have been working on a project, a CD of original Hip Hop and a music video, dedicated to her and meant to raise awareness about the danger of opiate addiction amongst teens. We want to get a copy to every school in the city. We have launched a fundraising campaign on indiegogo and I am asking for help in spreading the word. So I am contacting bloggers such as yourself, who understand the issue and the danger. The link is

http://www.indiegogo.com/SoundOven-Youth-Media?a=331529

I hope very much your son recovers and that together we all can begin to combat this tragic problem.Hello, my name is blake minnerly (bminnerly@nmmediaarts.org) and I am a teacher at the Media Arts Collaborative Charter School, in Albuquerque, NM. Last year we lost a student to heroin overdose. She was only 16. In reaction, the students in my music production class have been working on a project, a CD of original Hip Hop and a music video, dedicated to her and meant to raise awareness about the danger of opiate addiction amongst teens. We want to get a copy to every school in the city. We have launched a fundraising campaign on indiegogo and I am asking for help in spreading the word. So I am contacting bloggers such as yourself, who understand the issue and the danger. The link is

http://www.indiegogo.com/SoundOven-Youth-Media?a=331529

I glad to hear your son is still in recovery and doing well, take care.

My Son's Battle- A Christian Mother's Heart said...

Hi, I just wanted you to know that this post has given me a lot of hope today... We have been dealing with our son's addiction for about 3 years now. I hope that one day very soon I can move our "box" to a closet, then to the basement. I am trusting God that we will. You are right, these trials are what make us what we are today. I can't help but wonder how God is going to use this in my son's life one day. For now, I remain on my knees and wait. Thanks again. You guys are a blessing.