Thursday, October 13, 2011

Writing On This Blog

It seems to get tougher and tougher to find things to write about on this blog about addiction. Addiction is no longer front and center in our life. We don't take a breath and hold it like it was so easy to do for so many years. We allowed addiction to consume our lives. I'm sure so many of you know that feeling and may still be living in that manner.

I don't know what tomorrow holds but for today I am going to be conscious of life today and enjoy the peace.

Sometimes I think hard about, "What really happened for seven years? What have I REALLY learned? How did we survive? What caused this change in our life?" I'm sorry but I really don't have any solid answers. This sometimes troubles me but I am trying to let go of my need for a concrete answer to these issues. I guess I have to learn with some things "it is what it is."

Now I am satisfied with just trying to relate our experiences to others. Hopefully, it will help them through the nightmare or it will persuade a young person not to follow a path to addiction.

The little things matter as we relate to our son. A, "thank you" that is sincere. A text message or phone call that isn't originating from a police station. Having an open change jar in our bedroom that is slowly filling with silver. Hearing the words, "Mom, I'll get that diaper." Watching him take responsibility with his own health insurance card. Some people not experienced with addiction may read this and think, "Big deal." Yes it is, it is a big deal.

My son is someone I enjoy being around. Couldn't say that with honesty a few years ago.

Where there is life there is hope. But isn't just about hoping for your son, daughter or loved one to stop using. That's certainly part of it but life is happening all around us and allowing addiction to steal life from us is a terrible waste.

15 comments:

Dawn said...

I am so happy for you and your family Ron. I wish all of us could have the same kind of happy ending. And we may.... Your Fall Festival looked like a wonderful time! I love fall, just hate what comes after it for us in the midwest! LOL!

deherring said...

I am in your nightmare and I don't know what to do...

Bristolvol said...

Iam really happy for you that you get to enjoy Alex and your grandbaby.
To Deherring: find a Alanon meeting, see a counselor, stop enabling, lock up your valuables and take care of yourself first.

Dad and Mom said...

Deherring- You just got the best advice above. I can't think of a thing to add, unless you have a Nar-Anon meeting close or maybe a Families Anonymous group.

Tori said...

I can't imagine how proud you must be of him and how great it must feel to watch him be a Dad right now and be responsible and you are right the things that other people don't think are a big deal is HUGE to POA's. Maybe in the end we are the lucky ones.....we don't take for granted what our children accomplish no matter how insignificant it may seem to someone else.

Lou said...

Bravo to Alex for stepping up and accepting his responsibilities. Your happiness to be with family shines through in the pics. You and mom are blessed..and you know it!!

Lisa said...

I feel exactly the same way! And I realize how lucky and blessed we are.

notmyboy said...

I hope you to be where you are sitting one day.

kelly said...

I am so happy and exhaling a breath of relieve for you and your family. And hopefully your story will give us all hope. Kelly

Syd said...

I am glad that you have been here writing and helping others for so long, Ron. Now I am glad that you can write about the joyful time that you are having with your son. There is a solution!

deherringrn said...

Thank you for taking the time to comment and offer me hope. You truly feel all alone. I am attending a meeting tomorrow night. I am physically ill and consumed with this right now. So sad...

Barbara said...

Well please son't stop writing whatever you do! This is one of the "go-to" blogs for parents that are new to this. I am thrilled by the change in Alex. He has a new life full of responsibility,joy, maturity, love, hope and health. Doesn't get any better than that.

I try so hard not to let Kev's addiction steal life from me, but sometimes it just does. I'm working on it.

Lisa J said...

Thank you for lifting me up today to the possibility of hope. As easy as it is coming out my mouth 'where there is life there is hope' believing it in my gut is sometimes harder. After detox, hospitalization, jail, suboxone therapy, outpatient therapy, and all around chaos with our son...I was starting to believe it's hopeless. Maybe it is and maybe it isn't but I guess I have to realize that the path is not ours to clear for him. He can still do it ... I guess I just need to stop thinking that we are the ones that need to guide him there. Obviously if we could fix it, it would have been a done deal by now!

Anonymous said...

Hi Ron: I have been reading your blog on and off and you make so much sense to me. I am the mother of a recovering alcoholic (he is 24). I totally get it when you say how nice it is your son is taking care of his own responsibilities (ie: ins. card)...it is such a simple, yet beautiful thing! Although I am not in the midst of a time when I cannot handle the sound of the phone ringing, I am grateful for each day w/o that fear. But also aware addiction is a lifeline disease and this could change again any day. I don't live in fear because the past is over and the future hasn't happened yet...again, just grateful for the opportunity of the present (peace-filled) day.

deherringrn said...

She has been gone for 2 weeks...She came home in the middle of the night last night. My stomach is in knots. What is she going to say this morning that I'm not going to believe...