Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Containing My Excitement

Two weeks from today Alex will be released. It is good to see him each day picking him up at the jail for work and taking him back but I think both he an I both share the excitement of his release.

I know he wants out. Just thinking out loud, what would be more miserable, being in jail can't wait to get out to use again or being in jail and can't wait to get out to begin a new life? I ask, Alex says this time it is waiting on starting his new life.

I know why I am so excited and I have told him many times. I can't wait to have him free to be with all of the family again to share all the good times, we all miss him so much. Six months seems like such a long time to the end of over 7 years.

To all those parents reading this and being so jealous and angry that I am writing about this event I know how you feel. For so many years Darlene and I would get so jealous and angry, yelling and crying, why can't we have a son that can be like that??!!! Our sincerest wish for every mom and dad, your day will come.

For some strange reason inside I keep getting pulled to and have gone back to this post many times in last few weeks, Tuesday, July 20, 2010. http://parentsofanaddict.blogspot.com/2010/07/cant-think-of-title.html  This post was less than one year ago. Everyday the sun rises we get a new chance. One day at a time. Find a way to enjoy what is today, somehow, some way.

Where there is life there is hope.


Notmyboy said...

I am happy for you. I am not jealous, sad or mad. I am in awe of your ability to believe your son and his desire to change his life around. I guess I'm jaded, because I've heard it all so many times. My son swears this time is different...time will tell, but I'm not exactly jumping up and down with excitement.

I am glad you are able to do that. What's your secret? :)

lulu said...

I am so very happy for your news. YES, a bit of envy sneaks in there....but what HOPE your story gives to me and others. How wonderful to look forward without fear !
I continue to look up with faith and hope.

Annette said...

I am really happy for you too. Not jealous at all. Can I ask....or first let me share...that the times my girl has been clean have not been filled with such joy. They have been filled with watching and mistrust. Did we set her up to fail? I did not see her embracing recovery though. I still saw her being dishonest in small ways which quickly grew to bigger ways...so maybe she really wasn't there yet. Well, apparently not as she is still out in the world finding her way.
How have you arrived at this place of confidence in Alex's sobriety? I ask because if and when my daughter ever does achieve some sobriety again I want to be able to embrace it and enjoy it for what it is. And maybe my skills will be better honed this time around too....I am much further along in my own recovery from being that co-dependent and enabling mom.

Anyway, does any of that make sense? I am really really very happy for you. :o) And Alex and mom and when is the new baby due?

Dawn said...

That's great to hear Ron - I'm happy for you and mom and I hope for the best for Alex!

Syd said...

I am glad for you. It is one day at a time no matter what. I totally get that.

VJ said...

We need to read success stories as that is what keeps the hope alive.

Tell Alex we are all pulling for his continued success. He is proof that all our children may someday find recovery.

Barbara said...

I am thrilled to pieces about Alex! I do feel a tiny bit of envy, but its more like a feeling of "what if my son never makes it..."

Alex has a lot going for him and a lot to look forward to. This may sound weird, but up till now I thought of him as a "kid" now it seems that he's a man. He's stepped up and done what needed to be done and now he can move forward in sobriety :)

Lou said...

I just want the new parents to know what we know Dad--it can take many, many years. Recovery is a process. Learn as much as you can about addiction, and learn how to help, learn how not to make it worse.

Having the "whole" family together is a blessing.

Erin said...

I am so happy for you and your wife Ron!

Anonymous said...

Sending nothing but positive thoughts to you and your family and keeping Alex and everyone else's kids in my thoughts and prayers.

LisaC said...

I have strong feelings in my heart about Alex and that finally his time has come. And for you and Mom, I hope that you continue to enjoy the positive moments and not dwell on the negative "what if's." You deserve this time as parents and as a family.

Jake said...

I wish you guys the best as you and your son Alex move on with your lives. If you need any support while you go through this process, SOBERINFO.com has great blogs, news and resources to reference.
I admire your family's strength in this time and we would love to help in any way we can.

Momma said...

How wonderful... I'm sure it feels like new beginning for your whole family.

Gledwood said...

I sincerely hope everything does go right for your son this time.

And thanks very much for the comment you left at mine :-)

I'm gathering together my determination to do what I have to do.

For the first time in a long time, I want to be able to tell myself that I'm doing the right thing.

All those years I wasted using, somewhere in my heart I knew that what I was doing was wrong, even though it felt right, because my brain was victim of a chemical con, I still knew it was wrong. It was nearly impossible to get my head round this contradiction.

I hope Alex manages to do the right thing. I know it's not easy. And as you said, you can't fight his battles for him. Nevertheless, he's very lucky to have you on side :-)

parent said...

success stories come in one day increments...enjoy each day.
im happy for you guys

PeaPod said...

I read the link to your earlier blog and found it powerful. it really captures the reality of addiction in a family and the painful and deep implications. I admire your courage.

It sounds like another chapter is about to open and I really wish you and your son well. Although I'm writing this from thousands of miles away, it's the same illness with the same impact on families here and that unites us.