Friday, April 15, 2011

An Evolving Blog

The more things change the more they stay the same.

I was going to write about how my blogging and issues are changing but first thing this morning I find another mother that is just now wandering into our world. I put a link to her blog on my last post.

I write a lot less on my blog now. When I look back over the last couple years I was probably averaging 3-4 entries a week. Back then crisis never ended and disasters piled up on our door step like cars on a snowy Kansas interstate in January.

Our blog is evolving because we are evolving. We have learned, we have changed and our son has also changed. Our issues are different than they were a few months ago. I don't write as much about the day to day drama of being the parent of an addict. I am now trying to spend more time in critique of my beliefs, actions and reactions from the past years. I am writing more from the philosophical side of our life. What really did help us. And, what maybe failed our son but possibly we'd do the same thing again because things in time react differently to stimuli based upon a changing environment and time.

Also I am spending more time commenting on others blogs that are newer to this heartache or others that are in most difficult times. The Partnership has afforded me a wonderful avenue to write and give a wider audience to what I write, but it also has opened me up to a lot of other parents that write to me personally. I try to respond to every parent that writes and asks for help. With every letter I can picture a mother, father, brother or sister sitting in front of a screen and keyboard trying to find the right words to express how much they hurt. I see in my mind the strained expression and wrinkled brow when they finally get to the point of writing a complete stranger for advice on one of the most personal issues in life, the love of an addicted child.

Nearly every time I refer everyone to this blog and welcome them into our community by suggesting they click on links to all of your blogs and comments. I really do feel when we help one we all are helped.

So, if you don't find as many entries on this blog as in the past it doesn't mean I no longer care or I am no longer reading everyone's writings. Sometimes it just means I get to spend more time in celebration and less in grieving.

12 comments:

Annette said...

I can really relate to this. According to my daughter she is clean right now...I do believe she is giving it a good effort. I am hoping to see her tomorrow. Regardless of her condition, I have learned how to live my own life for the most part and not allow her addiction to rob me of my everyday experiences. I don't have as much of the daily drama going on anymore either thus no sordid details to share. So I share the continuation of my story post letting go of my beautiful child. There is still that sadness that is settled deep inside, but it doesn't rule me as it once did.

Thank you Ron for always being here and for your service to other parents who share this heartbreak. You are a blessing to so many....and I don't think anyone would ever think that you don't care. ;o)

Lou said...

Evolving is good. In every aspect of life.
Most of us accept and let go eventually. With a child the letting go is harder, because we remember the sweet toddler who clung to our legs.

I always find your views interesting and get the feeling you are a man of integrity. What you have modeled to Alex will be one of his strongest recovery tools.

madyson007 said...

I want to feel comfortable enough to live in celebration. How do you get there?

Tori said...

Your posts have always, always helped me. The separate emails you have sent with just that you understand because you have been there mean so much.

You have been a true gift to everyone in this blogging community. I hope that you continue to share the happiness that is going on now with you and Alex. It gives the rest of us hope!

Anna said...

Thanks Ron,

You are always very helpful to me.

Dee said...

Ron - Speaking for myself here -- even if no one ever answered my rambling dumb thoughts, it's so good to know people are out there. People who have been through what I am experiencing. Even if we are all in various stages, I can read about the sorrows and joys in past blogs and I can relate. It gives this new mom HOPE.

beachteacher said...

You have been a huge blessing to so many of us ! Your blog is the one I first found, that led me to the others. It's where I found others going through what we were. And I always thought that the name of your blog was just so very fitting, and just what we had too....an addict in our son's bedroom. Thank you so much for holding me up through such a painful time of my life. I never knew that some guy in Kansas that I'd never even met nor even talked to on the phone would become so important in a time of desperation in my life. You've been and continue to be important to many of us in blogland, and this community is special to me.

Syd said...

Amen to that Ron. You are in the solution now.

clean and crazy said...

so glad you are here, you are such an inspiration to so many.

Addiction--Mom trying to Detach with Love said...

"I really do feel when we help one we all are helped." Well said Ron and happy to see you and Alex are living in celebration.

Momma said...

Thank you for being there!

Tina said...

Thank you Ron for stopping by my blog. Until I started going to Al-Anon and blogging, I didn't realize there was such a huge club. I'm sorry that there are so many of us. Take Care, God Bless Tina