Monday, August 23, 2010

Taking It As It Comes

Progress?? I don't know but it means something to us. We had another weekend with our son (clean). He actually called on Thursday to make plans for Friday. That may not seem like much to anyone else but to us that was a significant step. To us it meant he was actually thinking beyond the minute or that day, he called one day in advance to make a date. Another nice dinner.

He and his girlfriend were going camping on Saturday and Sunday with her godfather. Our daughter called us on Saturday and wanted to go to the lake. So we went but we went to the lake where they were camping. That way he could wakeboard. Before addiction my son was an accomplished boarder. Wake to wake, inverts and a host of other tricks. He had not been on a board for quite some time. He was very frustrated that his skills had deteriorated so much but in reality what did he expect. But overall another good time was had by all.

The big issue now is finding a job. We don't pound on it. We do let him know when we see places that may be hiring but it is his issue to solve. It is hard for him to accept when I tell him the economy as far as the job market is as bad as I have ever seen it, plus with his baggage. He just has to keep plugging along, remember the two "P"s, patience and persistence. I think from my observations those are the two hardest things for and addict, even in recovery.



Syd said...

I am glad that it was a good time at the lake. You are so right about the economy. It is really hard to get a job right now. A friend has been looking for over a year.

VJ said...


Enjoy these wonderful family outings. What a blessing!

If you want to share, I was curious, what changes do you see when he is clean and with you and the family? I mean, is he like you expected him to be before the addiction or do you still see the addictive thinking present?

Annette said...

Happy for you guys Ron. :o)

LisaC said...

In response to VJ's question, I have to say that behavior (during active recovery) is very different. He is not like I "expected" or "hoped for" before addiction took over my son. Ron, I'm sure will have a more articulate answer. That being said, I'll take different behavior/active recovery any day over the alternatives, now that addiction has been part of our life.

Ron, I'm so glad you had a nice family outing. It is one of the things I miss the most...having my family together in a simple, fun, positive way.

Anonymous said...

Baby steps:) Who knows what causes the addict to say, "Enough is enough"??? Perhaps this is it.

Barbara said...

I hope we see another wakeboarding photo of Alex in the future :)

I think the steps he is taking to be with family are very significant! I hope it keeps going in that direction.

Sober Move said...

I understand what a huge step that is for him to make plans and stick to them. Even if they seem like small everyday tasks to us, they are actually a big accomplishment for them.

Being grateful for the positive moments (no matter how small they may seem) will bring more of the same into our lives. Hope there is much more for you:)

Tori said...

I am learning or trying to back off telling my son to get a job although when he stopped by tonight to tell me he was broke and could I lend him some money, I started telling him if he got a job.....but if he wants one bad enough he will get one. The fact that your son is making an attempt to be around you is huge. Every step he makes like that is a positive step towards his recovery.