Saturday, August 7, 2010

Gone????? But Not Forgotten

As soon as all of this occurred that I wrote about in the last post we left the next morning for a long weekend at the lake. It's easier to not have the impact in our face by being at home but that doesn't mean it isn't forgotten.

Girlfriend texted that she took him back, conditionally. I don't know if that is good or bad but she must go through her own learning growth too. The hard part for her is she loves the clean Alex, hates the using Alex. When Alex is not using he is a charming man. When he is not using he is what I wish I could be. A relative we are staying with at the lake remarked, "When Alex came into a room he raised the energy of that room by just coming in, what a shame." That is the person we are struggling with giving up, that is what makes it so hard. And I am sure many of you have the same experience.

Yesterday was Mom's birthday. Alex texted her Happy Birthday. She did not respond. She made that decision herself and I know it is killing her.

15 comments:

kimtmeyer1 said...

Ron, I totally understand how you and your wife feel. I too finally set the boundaries that left my son living on the streets (actually in his car which we gave him awhile back). Without a job or any friends or family to manipulate, he resorted to being a criminal to get his narcotics. I received a call last night that he was in jail. Maybe now he can detox and dry out, but unfortunately I can only imagine it's a living hell. I pray for all our addicted children and parents.

Dad and Mom said...

When ours is in jail that has become the only time we actually rest and do not worry. What a mixed up world we all live in when a child is addicted.

jackandaisy said...

dear mom and dad, mom especially,

i know how conflicted you must feel over your bday text. not responding took so much strength. i believe the text you did not send, spoke volumes to alex. i don't know if it helps any, but you give me strength beyond measure. we have come to loathe all holidays, bdays, etc. i'm so happy that you guys are away for the weekend and taking care of yourselves. please have a piece of birthday cake for us all and celebrate all the good in your lives and the good you bring to others.

daisy

kelly said...

Isn't it sad to pray for your child to be in jail? I remember one time I was having a Polarity / Reiki session. My Master asked what my intention of the session was... I said that Emily get caught by the law, because I could do no more and my husband needed to see the magnitude of the problem. Got done with my session, nobody was home.. called my husband, he said Emily was in the back of a police car being charged. Energy work at it's best...

I hope you have a wonderful weekend at the Lake. You both deserve it! I am sorry that is / was Mom's birthday. The Holidays are not the same for me anymore.. too many ruined ones. Including my birthday, her birthday. Mother's Day.. it's hard.. but as Mom keeps doing it, it will set some hard boundaries. Those special days really begin to mean nothing.. just another day.. and that's not easy.

Take this time to enjoy the weekened.
Hugs
Kelly

Syd said...

Happy birthday to Mom. I hope that there is a day of peace.

LisaC said...

We do live in a mixed up world; but I wish a wonderful birthday to Mom. Enjoy your weekend.

Mariah's Mom said...

Happy, happy birthday, Mom! Count and be grateful for every good thing in your life today:)

Dad 4 Truth said...

All birthday's are special, Happy Birthday Mom!

"Experienced" parents of addicted children realize that jail is not actually called "jail." It is referrred to as "protective custody" and/or "been rescued."

Tell mom not to worry about Alex, In the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger from the 1984 movie, "The Terminator," "I'll be back."

beachteacher said...

My husband and I are away in Las Vegas alone together,....our son went into jail on the same day we left on our trip. We were so grateful that the timing worked that way,....now that is a sad thing, but one that I know all of you parents of addicts understand as timing that is appreciated.

Erin said...

First of all Happy Birthday to Mom! Secondly, it is so difficult knowing who they were and who they have become, we are grieving the dreams and plans that we had for them. It is so hard knowing how wonderful they really ARE and watching them walk this dark path. Sigh..... But... I still have hope that they will all turn it around. Mine is sleeping right now, I was at a family gathering all day only to come home and find that he had drank about 10 cans of beer, so now he is passed out in bed. This is going to sound sick but I was thinking well at least it wasn't heroin. Of course, I woke him to up to make sure he hadn't taken anything with the beer, and to check his pupils. Great way to live right? One step forward three steps back..... God help us all.

I hope that you both have a relaxing time, you so need it and deserve it.

Jan said...

When Stevie is in jail at least I know he is clean. But, that does not stop him from manipulating, lying and thinking up ways to skirt the issues. He should be a politician- if he could ever get clean he would be a master at it!

I have not yet cut complete cords, but I am trying. I wish you all the love and prayers and happiness you deserve.

Stevie was a human lightening rod. He brought so much happiness and energy wherever he was. Today, he just brings pain.

Blessings

Anna said...

I am glad that you are at the lake. Allow yourselves some enjoyment. Life goes on as it must.

Heather's Mom said...

Happy (belated) Birthday to Mom. You all are in my prayers. My heart goes out to you and Mom. At the same time, I think you are doing the right thing even though it is agonizing. You and Mom need to take care of yourselves. At a meeting Friday night I was reminded that God can't work if I don't get out of the way - that always gives me peace to hear, I hope it does the same for you.
God bless.

Lloyd said...

I really enjoyed reading the posts on your blog. I would like to invite you to come on over to my blog and check it out. God's blessings too you. Lloyd

Anonymous said...

sorry to sound harsh , but reading these family blogs , all seem to have a common thread,son /daughter signs a bit of paper and is going to stick to it .Not gonna happen. It took me 20 years to stop why? got sick of waiting on cold corners.sorry guys most of you are in for along hall,it takes along time to relise your wasting your life on drugs,because sad to say ,but drugs feel good in the short term.stick with your kids as no one else will,AND SENDING THEM TO GAOL WILL NOT STRAIGHTEN THEM OUT.best wishes Ant in Australia