Mom and I are resting. It has been exhausting and with everything else piled on this last week, we have been couch potatoes.
At Mom's job this week they laid off over 700 people. She has been sweating bullets and been a nervous wreck. But she made it through. She's a dedicated and hard worker but sometimes in this economy that isn't always enough. From what she said it has been quite traumatic at her office. This is a company that has not done this before.
Our son, as far as we know is staying clean. He is mainly staying with an old neighbor and school friend at his place. When he is at home he seems to be straight. He knows the consequences of not flying straight. He was very upset that his friend Josh relapsed. He actually took on some it because he felt if he hadn't been in Mexico he would have been able to talk to him and maybe keep it from happening. We told him ultimately he is responsible for ONLY himself and his recovery. He still doesn't have a job and some of the courts are asking him for money on outstanding fines. We spoke about his ultimate responsibility and that ignoring that responsibility will not cause it to go away.
I am learning to let go of his behavior and his recovery. I use to think if he wasn't working a program he wasn't in recovery but the truth is what I think only really matters to me. I am beginning to believe there is more than one way/my way out of this morass. He has his program and the way he describes it is; "I'm done with that stuff and I'm not going there any more." Hey, whatever works is fine with me. He is a headstrong person and if he sets his mind to it what's to say he can't make it work that way. Guess he's more like dad then either one of us want to admit.
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6 comments:
we addicts are a stubborn bunch!! sounds like he is a bit like his father after all, and that is not half bad.
Humility seems to be a key factor in most journeys of recovery. I am praying and hoping he continues to forge ahead on his path.
I have a good feeling about Alex, and about Josh.
I think you're right - sometimes that headstrong determination IS the tool used, I hope that's the case for him.
Sounds like A is doing well with his recovery, and I think you are as well - recognizing that it is HIS recovery. I do believe stubborn determination can work! It's how I stayed off drugs after Heather was born. I pray for A and Josh daily, I so hope Josh is doing okay. From reading his blog he has so many great attributes, I only wish him well.
I hope "Mom" manages to ride through things at her work without it causing too much undue stress. I'm sure it's hard, even though she's keeping her job, to watch others she knows well go through this. The number of people being affected in this economy is unbelievable. But that's another topic!
God bless you and your family :)
So glad to hear that Mom was spared the ax. Whew!
"I am learning to let go of his behavior and his recovery. I use to think if he wasn't working a program he wasn't in recovery but the truth is what I think only really matters to me. I am beginning to believe there is more than one way/my way out of this morass. He has his program and the way he describes it is; "I'm done with that stuff and I'm not going there any more." Hey, whatever works is fine with me. He is a headstrong person and if he sets his mind to it what's to say he can't make it work that way. Guess he's more like dad then either one of us want to admit. "
thank you. That's what I'm finally realizing. My son is headstrong, which might be of help to him. Rest and relax-- that's a good thing.
I missed out on Josh's relapse... then again, I'm behind in reading blogs. So frustrating!
Thanks for the post.
I've been reading off and on here for a bit and have seen some wonderful growth in you. Keep up the good work because knowing "if he wasn't working a program he wasn't in recovery but the truth is what I think only really matters to me" is important part of growth!
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