Made someone very happy today. I called them and offered them a job. They were very excited and will begin work on next Monday.
At the same time I was kinda sad. This is the job my son screwed up. He was hired to fill a temporary position however a person here is leaving to join the military and my son would've been good to slide into that position. In fact everyone was happy with his work and he was working hard. But, we all know how that ended. A probation violation for missing his ride back to the residential center and he was shipped off to jail and has been there ever since. WHAT A WASTE! There is some comedian that does a whole routine about "You Can't Fix Stupid". I think this applies. (and everyone knows I tried)
I've never been in jail and hope to never go but, my hope is that my son has a lot of time for reflection and can make some decisions about how he wishes to live his life.
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10 comments:
I totally agree with how you handled this, maybe it will sink in that you mean business. You gave him a great chance and HE blew it. I wish your whole family the best.
You know what hits me in this post...your humility. "I've never been to jail and *hope* to never go." That one sentence speaks a lot...you know your not infallible. You know you are human just like your son. This is your bridge to meet your son on. You both may walk off at separate ends for awhile more...but you can always meet somewhere on that bridge.
Without consequences there is no learning. You did the right thing--the hard thing. I have had to learn this with my daughter one day at a time.
i think it is judge judy who said beauty fades but stupid is forever.
I know this was a hard decision for you to make and keep. We all have landed our loved addict jobs only to watch them waste it away over stupid actions. I pray they all will become much smarter soon. I am sorry you had to go through this disappointment, but you did the right thing which I am still trying to find the courage to do.
I hope the new employee works out for you. I know the situation with your son has to be difficult, and maybe the day will come when he "gets" it. I hope so.
I hope that he will get it also. But I think that the way you handled it helped rather than hurt in any way.
How's the new employee?
I am a new follower to your blog, but am part of this family (I write about loving and parenting an addict). Although my son has miraculously avoided jail, we are on our 4th rehab attempt since March 2008, when we officially learned he was addicted to heroine. We had an intervention and a trip to detox on Christmas Day last year.
I share the relief that you feel with him in jail. It is true that when you hear a siren at 1 a.m. in the morning, you know right now it is not him. Maybe he will use this opportunity to focus on his life and what it is turning in to and hopefully what it could be. I so appreciate hearing from others, whether it is about the brave choices that are being made every day or the slips we have as codependent personalities/parents. I'm sure you are doing the right thing. Thank you for sharing your story.
my son spent 4 days in juvinile lock up and is now on probation - he is balancing the edge of the limits of his probation officer at this time and I am really hoping that he knows better than to test her - because one small slip past those boundary lines and he will complete his probation in either juvi center or a halfway house... its terryfing but I understand this is his road now...
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