Friday, September 25, 2009

More Hurting Parents

As we all know the longer we are entangled in this scourge of addiction the wider the web grows. I have found a couple other blogs whose situations with 21 year old sons so closely parallel ours it is uncanny. Both people are fairly new to blogging and I hope everyone has enough room to welcome them into our world of self help. The first is:

Blinded By Love For J

Another one:

Loving and Parenting an Addict

It's funny the first post I read on this blog was entitled "I'm Not In Kansas Any More" As you all know, we are still in Kansas. (and still love it)

What still amazes me is the scope of this problem. Two blogs, one family in CA and the other in OH, all sharing circumstances and a common issue with us that live here in KS. And when I see that counter on my blog with people hitting this page from over 50 countries, sometimes it just leaves me in shock. To me this is a worldwide problem with consequences on people and governments just as serious as wars, terrorism and economic turmoil.

When I speak of having a son that is addicted I find most times the other person begins to relate stories of someone in their family or extended family suffering from the same. I have pondered the ramifications of this many times. It has come to be my belief that drug usage needs a more personal face. Parents, brothers, sisters, friends and everyone connected needs to stand up and demand more accountability from our governments for drug addiction. Politicians find it easy to pound their fist about drug addiction and it is easy to brag about how many addicts and dealers they have put in prison on their watch. Addiction is a disease. We need our leaders look for new answers, our current methodologies of dealing with addicts once they are in the system are only marginally effective. The power of every person touched by drug addiction is to big for our leaders to ignore. This affects us all.

I am asking everyone that reads this blog, when you are done here go to your U.S. Representatives website and e-mail them, ask what they are doing about drug addiction. For those from other countries, do the same with your government, if you are allowed to do this. I do see there are visitors to our blogs from some very repressed countries, do what is safe for you in your place. We all need to be heard more loudly and with a larger voice to get something done.


Dad and Mom said...

Just finished sending my e-mail to representative Lynn Jenkins, KS

Gin said...

Headed over there now. By the way, it always amazes me too just how many lives are touched by one form of addition or another. It seems there is not one of us living on this planet that has not had to deal with it in one form or another.

Mom of Opiate Addict said...

Good for you for encouraging us all to take action and to call for change. I will be getting on that today. Thanks for sharing the new blogs, I will be sure to add them. Have a wonderful weekend and thanks once again for your awesome and heartfelt wisdom of your comments on my blog, so much support here.

Sherry said...

Thank you very much for including me in this family of hurting parents. I also feel compelled to take action to make a difference for everyone's children. One of your posts mentioned that you will be speaking at one of the schools and I think that's great!

Anonymous said...

Dad & Mom. Just wanted add my voice to the family of hurting parents. I lurk on all of the blogs, but rarely comment. Same situation as everyone else. 20 year old son. Addicted to black tar heroin. The similarities in everyone's experiences are uncanny. Putting our government on notice is a great idea. I wonder if we should also spread this horrible news locally. Parents of middle school/high school students should be made aware of the danger. I was very savvy about drug use, yet this nightmare slipped into our home unnoticed. Thanks again for your blog.

Chic Mama said...

Hello- having gone through legal proceedings to protect my five children I am still shocked at how blase the attitudes of lawyers and judges are. They don't seem to take cocaine addiction seriously as they consider it a 'party' drug. It has devastated mine, my husbands and my 5 children's lives......I could cry every day about this. I get so angry about it and yet my husband still denies he is an addict.
I feel a duty to do something about this to educate other people about this but at the moment legal proceedings have me very nervous as anything I say can be used against me. I will do something one day though.
I am always amazed at the common thread between family members of addicts though. I used to think it was my imagination but after meeting and reading about other's experiences I realise we are all affected in the same way and whatever the addiction the same behaviour occurs.
Well done in all you do to highlight this terrible terrible disease.

Marsha said...

Great post and thank you for trying to help your fellow bloggers by giving them some supporters. You've got a good soul.

MEM said...

Thank you for this post. Addiction is a public health crisis.

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

I know you can't see me through the screen, but I am standing giving you an ovation of applause for this post. I will go meet the two new families, I will write my Rep. and I will do a post about this on my blogs and link back here.

I find also that when I open up and tell people I meet randomly that my son is a heroin addict, I almost ALWAYS get a story back about someone in their life that is addicted to something. Its an epidemic and its stealing a hell of a lot of our youth. Something must be done.

Mom of Opiate Addict said...

My representative doesn't allow email, so out my pen goes!!

ChaiLatte said...

Thank you, Ron. I will definitely contact my Representatives. Thank you also, for expanding the circle of hurting parents and bringing us all together. You took me under your wing and got me started here and I appreciate that you continue to reach out to others- you are making a difference in other's lives.

Athena said...

Bravo - will do - again. Maybe add a calendar item to call/write regularly. I don't know how you track hits on your blog, but one of the most heart breaking things I see is the google searches that lead to mine.

Never forget how much our speaking out helps others to know that they are not alone and to help get the message that they didn't cause their child's addiction, and other shameful stereotypes


carol said...

I just found your blog yesterday, and would like to thank you for putting yourself out there and telling your tale.

I, like you, have a son (20 years old) who is an addict. He is currently incarcerated in the county jail for stealing from people's cars. I'm sure the motive was to pawn the items stolen for drug money. To date he has several felony charges, 2 of them drug related (possession of heroin and meth pre-cursor charges - he was caught purchasing the cold medicine and bringing it over to the meth-makers apartment). He has stolen anything and everything from my home to pawn for drug money. The post where you say that you go out to your garage and get mad when you find another tool missing really hit home - this is my husband to a T. All the tools gone. Cameras, Ipods, cell phones, credit cards, checks - all missing. This was last year - needless to say he no longer lives in our home. And we have alarms on all doors and windows, as well as cameras installed. It sucks having to live this way!

I've heard it all (as you have). "I didn't do it", "I was just with them", "Bail me out, I'll get a job and pay you back", "I'll drop all my friends", "I'll never do it again" yadda yadda yadda. Ad nauseum.

Presently, bail is $2000. I don't bail out either. Today was court for a bond reduction - denied. So he sits. Got the call from him this morning again to PLEASE get him out. My response, "if you can't do the time, don't do the crime. So, nope!" Next court date is Oct. 22. My guess is the outcome will be the same. There's only so many times you can piss off the system before they're done giving you chances.

This is not what I signed up for when I signed up for parenthood. I never imagined this...

Bless us all - all the parents on this blog who are dealing with kids with the disease of addiction. And thanks for your writings. It helps to know I'm not the only one.

Syd said...

Thanks for posting this suggestion. It is a good one and one that could make a difference.

etheltest1 said...

Your suggestion is a good one 'Dad and Mom' -about contacting our government officials and that addiction needs a more public voice. Both are excellent ideas.

My husband and I have been living with addiction for 15 years now with our son. My feeling is that we as a society need to put to rest some very outdated ideas about addiction. I also feel that if someone has done a crime that is drug related they should be entered into treatment before they serve their sentence. Detoxing in jail is a tough way to go.

Personally I feel like I've turned a corner in my beliefs about drug addiction- but after 15 years on this journey it will take awhile before I can put it all into words. I just want to say thank you for your blog - for all your time you have put into it. Thank you.