Thursday, October 24, 2013

Random Updates

Alex is doing great. I'm still at that point I do pinch myself sometimes. How is it possible to reconcile what seemed hopeless only three years ago to the reality of today? I watched him wrestling in the floor with Tyler last night and there are no words to describe the feeling I get when a scene like that when it presents itself in life.

All of the grandkids are a special light in my life.

The house remodeling and construction is going well. The new drive is poured and I can't wait to drive on it but I know better that to put that kind of weight on concrete that isn't cured properly. Next comes new siding and Darlene has already picked out new wood floor for the family room and kitchen. That happens the week before Thanksgiving week.

Seems like from reading blogs many of the parents I have read for years are experiencing times of success or moments of hope. This makes me feel so good. I still think often of so many parents that are still struggling. My thoughts are with and you know who you are. Trust me, if you are reading this and are struggling, you ARE in my thoughts.

Why do I still write on this blog? That's a question I ponder at times. For so long this blog was one of my lifeboats. I had to write to maintain my own health. Today, why do I still write and read blogs? The only answer I have and this answer is good enough for me. I write and read blogs today for the same reason I did when I began. This helps me. I guess I am a selfish person. I do this for me. Writing helps ME to become a better person. reading and commenting on others blogs helps ME to be a better person. plus maybe along the way sharing helps someone else too. If one day it stops helping me and helping others you may see a "The End" on a post but I cannot see that happening. I get too much out of this.

I have an ever evolving schedule speaking to students at schools. Two schools I have never been to before have invited me to speak. On November 8 I go to Shawnee Mission South, November 26 Shawnee Mission West and on December 6 Shawnee Mission East. I hope these kids are ready, I don't let up. I give them everything everyone of you want me to say, with pictures. Thank you so much to one special parent that sent me two pictures of her son, they make such a huge impact. Pictures like that are worth more than a thousand words. What I say to them is for each one of you that have gone through hell.

The teacher at Shawnee Mission South ask me if I would be willing to speak to their PTO and Father's Group if she can arrange it. Of course I will.


Annette said...

Ron, I always love hearing from you on my blog. I have been blogging a long time now. Out of our 10, 11, year journey my girl has had a whopping grand total of 11 consecutive months clean. I wonder too when my blogging days will end, but for the same reason you stay, I stay. I get so much out of this and I have "met" some wonderful people here.

I admire your speaking engagements so much. What an amazing and authentic way to give back and bring some good out of all of this.

Ron, what would we do with out YOU in our blogging world?! You can't leave... :o) You are a staple.

Tori said...

You always have to Blog Ron you are the main support of us! You were the first one to ever comment on my post and welcome me to this group.

I was in this group when your son was using - hard to believe it has been 3 years that he has been clean.

I realize hope much hope I get reading about the other POA's who have children in recovery and how much support I continue to get as my son still struggles.

When we all post on FB it is like I have met and hung out with you all - weird but it is so nice to have this group that is so close.

beachteacher said...

Yes Ron - as others say , are where I started. Dues that sound strange ? Ha. Seriously though -- when I was so distraught & started "googling" -- your blog name came up & it was such a perfect connection for me-- An addict in our son's bedroom -- exactly apt. That was the place -- our son's bedroom. He had the big room over the garage --and later -- after he'd moved out & we were preparing for our daughter's wedding,... it had been really cleaned out & redone. When I suggested that she & the bridesmaids get dressed & ready in that room -- she balked,..saying it felt like the devils den. I did understand. My point is -- that title of yours is what struck me -- and then your honest writing etc. from there - I "met" the most understanding & caring group of people that ended up to be the only ones besides my husband who I could talk to -- lean on, & feel supported by. I know that all of you is what got me through. To this day --many of the bloggers are who I still feel closest to - even after getting out of blogging myself these past months. So Ron -- thank YOU -- & keep blogging ! We're all more than thrilled at how great Alex is doing.

Bar said...

Dude - don't ever stop writing here, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your blog is vitally important to so many people. There are people who read it all the time that you may not even know about that benefit from your words. I read it but rarely comment on any blogs these days. Its absolutely wonderful to hear about Alex and to hear the joy and gratefulness in your voice when you talk about him and about all your grand-kids. Rock on. (can you tell I'm in my California surfer mode today?)

John Burns said...

You definitely have to keep writing, Ron. I only recently discovered your blog, but I can see that it has helped plenty of people help and insight.

Syd said...

I have been reading you a long time. I don't want to lose my connection with people so I keep blogging too, albeit much less frequently than before.

Anonymous said...

I, myself, just started blogging. Only my story is a little different. May 30, 2013 I lost my husband to suicide, because of a long fought battle with meth addiction, which eventually led to my strong, hardworking, confident, handsome husband, becoming a scared, paranoid, afraid ex-husband, who thought I led a secret life and wanted him dead. Even when the drugs were gone ... I finally agreed to give him a divorce, because he said it would ease his concerns of me wanting him dead. Our divorce was official 2 months before he took his life.
I have not opened up about much of the addiction yet, because I feel a HUGE amount of guilt and shame, because I am an addict as well, and even when I knew what was going to happen, I chose to use with him, again and again.
Every mental health professional heard history of meth and stopped all thoughts of mental health issue, it must be a drug issue... And today, I am trying to raise a 7 year old boy and 9 year old girl who just want their dad back. The struggle with the death of a parent is too much, and add suicide in the mix and it's so many added emotions and feelings, because the only person to be mad at, is the one you love.

Anonymous said...

Ron, I discovered your blog when I felt desperate and hopeless about my son's addiction. It was like a hand reaching out to me through the darkness. I stayed up all night and read every post. That was more than 3 years ago and my son is finally doing well, but now my other son is struggling. And I find myself re-reading your old posts as well as the current ones for comfort and wisdom. Thank you. Don't ever stop blogging!