I got a comment from a mother last night and I commented back to her. But I need help. Please share your advice and stories of hope here on this post in a comment for her. I am going to reprint her comment. Share your words and love with this mother.
ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE AN ADDICT IN RECOVERY, please take her hand.
Anonymous said...
I am a mother of three young sons and I am an addict.. I started off by taking a pill here and there to "perk" me up at work in the afternoons and didn't think anything of it until I started taking them in the mornings as well , it wasn't long before I needed them to get up in the morning and function! Now here I am 5 yrs into this hell . I wish to god I had never touched one!! My life is ruined.. I have tried to quit soooo many times only to go back because the withdrawal is pure hell!! I wouldn't wish this on anyone.... I wish I could go back to feeling normal emotions without anything in my system , all I want is to be naturally happy like I used to be . I was such a happy person just naturally happy but I have ruined my brain now so I am literally incapable of feeling "normal" . I don't want to be high just comfortable in my skin but its imposible for me . I blame myself not my parents no one is to blame but me...I have ruined my life...It's over I will never ever be normal again .....
I don't know if it is the same person but here is another comment to a different post from last night too.
Dear Dad and Mom ,
I am an addict... I have been reading your blog and I thank you for not "throwing" your son away and instead trying to understand his illness. I am ashamed , embarrased that I did this to myself. I'm sorry I have ruined my life .I hate living with this shameful secret of mine I am exhausted just pretending I'm happy . Once you mess with that part of your brain you can't fix it you see...I have so many regrets....I wish I could turn back time and said no ....but It's too late unfortunately just way too late...
I don't know if it is the same person but here is another comment to a different post from last night too.
Dear Dad and Mom ,
I am an addict... I have been reading your blog and I thank you for not "throwing" your son away and instead trying to understand his illness. I am ashamed , embarrased that I did this to myself. I'm sorry I have ruined my life .I hate living with this shameful secret of mine I am exhausted just pretending I'm happy . Once you mess with that part of your brain you can't fix it you see...I have so many regrets....I wish I could turn back time and said no ....but It's too late unfortunately just way too late...
8 comments:
Anonymous,
Where there is life there is hope. You know this, but you can't do this alone. You need help. Seek out a meeting, go to a counselor, talk to others about this. There is more help than you realize, you are not alone. People love you and want to help. reach out your hand and take someone's hand.
Tomorrow call The Partnership Helpline 1-855-DRUGFREE. Speak to Jerry or Denise, if they are on another call leave a message, tell them that Ron said to call.
It is hell. I am not an addict but I watched my son. I also see my son today. There is a way out, the way out is you. And I don't want to minimize it, it will be the hardest thing you do. I know this because of what my son has told us. My son also said it was the greatest thing in his life along with his son.
Write any time, if you want to talk send me an e-mail. I will send you my phone number. If you want to talk to "mom" she will talk too. teamplayer@aol.com
You have not ruined your life. You have a disease that can be recovered from. Normal is what we think is right. Normal is actually being what you are and that is a loving mother or you wouldn't be reading these blogs and commenting, you are a person that deserves recovery and you can when you take that step.
Dear Anonymous,
You have not ruined your life. You made a bad choice that led to the disease of addiction. This isn't where your story ends. You still have choices. You made the choice to contact Ron. Maybe your next choice will be to seek some help for yourself.
You realize you have a problem. That's a huge step right there! You see the mistakes you have made and acknowledge that you are powerless over drugs! Another huge step! You don't have to fight this battle alone. There is so much help out there. You can feel normal again. Your body and mind need time to recover, to heal, to mend. Time, treatment and support, my dear, that's what you need.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers. So will your boys. If you ever need a friend, please feel free to email me: Ingodigo@gmail.com
Summer
You can feel normal again. The normal will be different because you will be different.
Three years ago, I couldn't imagine how I could have a sober life and be happy or laugh ever again. This last Saturday, I took my three year chip and went out to breakfast with twenty sober friends. We laughed and talked for hours. I went home with my son and my partner, both of them glowing with the happiness of the day and the joy of having me sober.
It's a hard road to walk, getting sober. I won't lie. It's a struggle. But, it can be done and the life that comes from the struggle is amazing and a gift beyond price.
I did my sobering up in AA. it works for me. There are other ways but that was my way. I go to meetings most days of the week, I have a sponsor, I did the Steps, now I sponsor people. I wouldn't change a thing that brought me to this place.
You can so this. Millions have.
Jackie
Go read all the wonderful stories of hope at the link below. Do *not* blame yourself. You *can* get better. And know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Praying for you today.
http://thehopeshare.drugfree.org/
I am not an addict neither I have someone in my family who has been into addiction. However, it touches my heart to read a blog like yours. I can feel in each word the pain and sadness that it takes to be in such a situation especially when I came across the letter. Drugs and alcohol minus a family to guide an individual is equal to a ruined life.
The truth is that recovery is possible, we all come to believe that we are hopeless and that we are doomed to live that way forever. Well, that is a good place to be.. It is called surrender...
I thank you all for your wonderful advice! Warms my heart so much because I can tell your words are very sincere and I really appreciate all of you..
I'm ok , still here at least for now. I have done a lot of thinking and tons of research as of late on addiction and I'm really glad god brought me to you! I need help that I know , I want help but I'm so afraid of losing my boys... I have worked so hard at pretending to be so far away from an addict that I know people will think I'm joking when I tell someone. Its no joke , I have an addiction that is sure to kill me very soon if I can't figure this out...you see now my tolerance is soooo high that you would be shocked if I told you how many pills it takes to stand up in the mornings I can tell you Im talking couple dozen by noon...I'm so tired of everything , I think about dying constantly too lately because I think just sleep nomore chasing the pills , nomore guilt from spending the money , nomore worrying about tomorrows pills , I know my boys would be heartbroken and I can't even type it with out tears but the truth is I've been gone for a long time now. My body is here at all their activities and taking care of them but my mind is on how many pills are left in my bag...I don't deserve to live...not after what I've done! God gave me the gift of life and I have paid him back with disappointments and regrets...
Hello Anonymous. You deserve to find out what LIFE feels like. I was a miserable addict, too. I didn't have any reason to try, except for a little boy who would eventually call me Mommy. YOu CAN do it. Is there someone who can keep your kids for a few days? You'll need to detox, for sure, and then comes IOP (Intensive Out Patient), and then comes the work. ;) I've been learning how to live for the last 20 years. Seriously. It's a million times better than that existence you're living in now. Your kids DESERVE the best you've got. They've been getting part of you for long enough, don't you think? I promise you, it IS possible. You can do it. Just for today, get the phone book out and find some help. Narcotics Anonymous is in the phone book.
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