In addition to posting comments publicly many people e-mail us directly because I have our e-mail address posted on the blog. I am grateful for the help and advice no matter if it is publicly posted or privately e-mailed.
I received an e-mail the other day that is an inspiration to us and I thought it might be good for everyone else too. The author has granted me permission to post it, I hope it helps you too.
You and Mom are probably aware I lived with the depravity that is heroin (or crack or meth or vodka or MadDog) addiction for almost 12 years. We all have our war stories, so I won't go into the stomach turning details of homelessness, overdoses, prison visits, late night drama, ER crisis's, suicide threats, and stolen family heirlooms.
The reason I'm commenting is that at about 7 years into the heroin addiction of our son, his father and I broke down together. We held each other and cried together for a long time. We were out of rehab money, out of excuses, and out of hope. When we were cried out that day, his father and I made a pact with each other.
From now on, we would decide together what was right for our family. It was a very real possibility our son would die. We asked ourselves-- if we were standing over our son's coffin right now, what would matter to us.
Would it be the opinion of an internet stranger? How about the expert advice of addiction professionals (who BTW can boast a 8-12% success rate--WTF!)? The judgment of other family members? Well meaning, and not so well meaning strangers?
We realized we would have to live with the decision of taking that phone call or not. Making that 5 hour drive to the prison once a month or not. Telling our son we loved him even when we knew he was high or not. Putting flowers on his grave or not. IT WAS OUR EYES we would have to meet in the mirror. Sometimes that meant taking a hard stand, other times it meant driving downtown to hand him a McDonalds meal on the street. Or giving that McDonalds meal to someone else's kid if we could not find him.
We decided to be confident and united in our actions, and with no regrets however it played out.
Dad, I have seen you humbled since you started this blog. You started out, as we all did, angry and helpless. You didn't understand you had come up against something you could not reason out. But your writing shows me you are starting to get it-- You are becoming more compassionate and forgiving. You are beginning to accept your son for who he is, not who you envisioned he would be. You are more grateful for the many blessing in your life. These things are the upside of being brought to one's knees.
What I'm trying to say is don't let internet strangers bully you. Don't listen to addiction "professionals" who would pass judgment on a case they hear second hand, without knowing the client. (That borders on unethical..they should have their licenses pulled!) Keep reading, keep an open mind, stay teachable.
And don't let anyone tell you no one beats heroin. This mom knows better. My son had the spiritual awakening; he's changed on the inside. But it wasn't anything I did or didn't do. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—" (Ephesians 2:8)
We want to welcome you to our blog. This blog is principally going to be about parenting a drug addict. However as parents of drug addicts know they take up about 85% of your time, worry and stress, but there are other good things going on too.
My wish and goal for this blog is that maybe we can help you or you can help us. Feel free to e-mail us if you wish to comment or want to chat personally. Please if you want to post comments (good, bad, or indifferent) they will be very much appreciated.
Dad and Mom are parents of 3 and grandparents of three. Our oldest is the manager of Pediatrics at one of the top medical centers in the nation, the middle daughter takes care of our granddaughter and a couple other precious children. Our youngest is troubled with an addiction to drugs but is currently over 2.5 years clear and sober working at a company principally involved in foam and foam fabrication. Our blog is about his addiction and parenting an addict.
Please if you want to stay in touch become a follower. We are adding posts and people are commenting. Feel free to forward this link to anyone you think may be interested or need someone to chat with about these issues. To those that are FOLLOWERS, Thank You
AllTreatment.com – Rehab Center DirectoryThis is a blog written by two parents who's youngest son has had problems with addiction. This blog has already earned several awards for being a consistently updated blog that really does a great job describing the experience of dealing with a loved one going through addiction. It describes the emotional, up and down experience that substance abuse can bring to a family. A must read.
Clean and Crazy
Me to You
Dragons Loyalty Award
clean and crazy
JOURNEY OF RECOVERY...SEARCH FOR SERENITY
Mom vs Heroin
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