Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Cautious Update

It's back home and to work and now its time to begin looking forward to the next vacation. LOL It's getting close to Fall Festival time so we are beginning to work on that event.

Maybe it was a fools confidence or just a odd belief inside but this was the first vacation in several years that we were not concerned with coming home to a empty or destroyed house or worried about getting a call that our son had overdosed and died. We had gotten use to, I'm in jail calls, they didn't affect us any more.

I am not a superstitious person but I almost hate to talk about how he is doing in fear of jinxing his progress. He has a job, don't know how long it will last it is dependent upon the company's production and orders. He spoke to his mom and I when we got home about budgeting, he brought up the subject. He has formulated a budget for his check, ON PAPER.

He ask us about going back to school. He has become aware both of his sisters are in school, his girlfriend is in school to become a nurse and 3 out of 4 first cousins are working on their BA or MA. He said to us,"Everyone is moving forward and leaving me behind, I don't want to be left behind. What would it take for me to go back to school." Our response was, "Son, if you want it bad enough you will figure that out and make it happen."

We have been taking him and his girlfriend out to dinner with us on Friday Date Night. It is really great to actually have conversations with him and her. We have noticed there is a sharpness in his wit returning and his voice does not have the druggie sound, you all know that that sound. He seems to enjoy being around family now. Mom and dad know it may take a little while before some in the family accepts him and we reminded him that it takes the two "P's", patience and persistence.

Even with all of this good news there is one thing I have learned in this process. Accept today and its happiness, tomorrow is a long way off.


VJ said...

I would say he has turned the corner. He sounds "motivated" and that is key to accepting long term recovery. Something happened to his past addictive thinking, what was it that changed his thought processes? What motivated him to rediscover his original intrinsic motivation? How does the family support this new Alex? What do you say and what do you not say? What if he relapses after all the progress he makes now and in the future? Questions, questions and more questions, that is the nature of this disease. It creates questions but no clear answers. I would ride this new life for as far as it goes and enjoy every second, I would celebrate even the smallest of success. I would hug him and repeat how much I love him. I would compliment him and support his goals. If this happening to me I would never bring up the past either directly or indirectly. I would focus on the here and now. I would always be seen with a smile.

I pray I will have this chance again someday with my son. I pray that every parent who reads this new saga in Dad and Mom life will also someday experience this joy.

Syd said...

Yes, it will be one day at a time and a lowering of expectations. I am glad that you could get a break away and enjoy it.

clean and crazy said...

that was a great response to his going back to school. throwing the ball in his court makes it his responsibility and that is what he is trying to figure out. how to become a responsible adult. and it is his choice.

glad to hear you are fairing well.

Anonymous said...

Glad to hear it. Enjoy the good times. ~T~

beachteacher said... great to hear this....ENJOY ! : )

jackandaisy said...

boy can i relate to all this.

things are going well for jack right now too.

i start worrying about what if and then i truly embrace today and am so thankful that today he is doing well. that's all any of us really have.