It is with mixed emotions I write about this milestone.
After I received another email from a parent lost and searching for answer about her daughter's addiction I looked at this blog. A couple years after I began writing this chronicle of our struggle Blogger developed a dashboard with loads of statistical data concerning this site I could privately access. Nothing was available concerning personal information of readers but it did have a simple counter of visitors. When I looked the other day a striking number appeared. There have been over 1,000,000 visitors to this site reading various posts I have written.
It is so sad that after all this time parents are still looking for answers to fight the monster of addiction in their loved ones. I spell out parents but it isn't just parents. Brothers, sisters, grandparents, cousins, friends and anyone affected by drugs and alcohol come here searching for peace.
Also, as I visit my blog and answer letters from people I feel a deep internal satisfaction that maybe I am helping others through our shared struggles. As just a dumb old dad maybe somehow my twisted words gives someone strength to face the next minute, hour or day. You don't have to be a professional counselor or have a bunch of letters behind your name to be there for someone needing help.
Parenting a child suffering from a life threatening disease like addiction is no longer front and center in my life. However, I know that helping others with this struggle will be a lifelong labor of my soul.
No one that loves a person struggling with drugs or alcohol must walk this path privately, secretly or alone. There are people, some close and some you have never met with their hand outstretched willing to help. You are not alone, allow those who have traveled this path to help. It will help you, it did me when I was lost many years ago. Maybe that is why I write, first to question others for myself, then to repay and honor all of those that helped me.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
If you have questions or are struggling reach out to someone. Take care of you first. Personal confession, that is the hardest thing to do. I will answer your email, I will pick up your call. Your pain is real. teamplayer@aol.com
8 comments:
You've done such excellent work on your blog, Ron. I have found your articles inspiring and helpful. It is nice to feel you are not alone when there is so much stigma and shame around substance use, especially for parents.
Congrats on your number of visitors! That is an amazing number of visitors and shows how much help you've given. Thank you for spreading your experiences.
Thank you Cathy. I have met so many wonderful people through this blog and consider you as one of true warriors making a difference. Keep up your good work and writing those helpful books.
You are both such a blessing. My best friend's son is struggling with heroin and meth after 2 decades in and out of prison. I talked to the young man for the first time in a while today. It's a lot easier for me to accept than for his father-but I realized that all I really wanted was for him to live and that I could love him and value him and see the beauty in his heart-even though he doesn't want to stop using. And I asked myself-what does loving him have anything to do with whether he's using or not? Loving him isn't going to stop him from using, but loving him isn't going to keep him using either. It's so hard to still give your heart to someone when they are not stopping and so hard not to think that withholding your heart can somehow help-but I don't think it does. He's not asking for anything-and was very honest about not really wanting to stop. And I still see him as beautiful and good-and I guess all that I can say is that beautiful people can get lost in this darkness and they can even die there, but it doesn't make them not beautiful.
You share a lot of wisdom in your comment.
My son is 35 and has been using for over 16 years. He has been in and out of rehab countless times, overdosed more than twice yet continues down this path of addiction. I have a card given to me by a therapist about enabling addiction it says are you loving someone to death !! I have tried everthing on the list and nothing has worked. The words I've read here are absolutely correct nothing I do will make my son stop using drugs until he is ready himself and I have to accept the fact that it may never happen. Tough words to swallow but they make the most sense over everthing else I've been told about how to fix the problem. I will be forever grateful for finding your blog it has been a blessing to me to read.
Hi,everyone I typed in advice for a mother of a 40 year old meth addict. That search brought me to Ron’s site. Divine intervention maybe but here I am and desperate to connect to this site hoping to find solace in the fact I’m not alone but broken hearted that we are all here! Everyone once in awhile I see a glimpse of my beautiful son in something he says or does if only for a fleeting moment…then it’s gone.
Thank. You
Joanne
Joanne he listed an email if you'd like to reach out, it is teamplayer@aol.com. Sometimes just venting to someone helps especially someone who understands the pain of loving someone with an addiction. Take care of yourself ❤
Joanne, feel free to reach out to me at my email: teamplayer@aol.com. If you need to talk write me and I will send you my phone number.
You are not alone.
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