Saturday, March 12, 2016

Does It Ever Get Better?

I am still a member of several Facebook Groups concerning addiction and drug use. Sometimes I'll respond to a post by a parent but mostly I just read the activity. I also read blogs but they seem to be a dying medium.

Still a lump comes to my throat and my stomach knots when I read a post from a distraught parent. "I don't know where my child is tonight." "Pray for my child, in the hospital, overdose." "My child is going to court and could be locked up for five years." I could have and did write many lines just like these.

I know the pain of each of these parents. It is a painful agony to watch a child suffering from addiction. The feeling of helplessness when you are doing everything you know to save their life.

Does it ever get better? No, it gets different. (give me a break. I know the grammar doesn't work.)

Our son entered recover in July 2010. We lived seven years of a nightmare. I know the highs of endless hope and I know the crushing pain of a relapse.

Fear still grips me for every parent that writes about their son or daughter struggling with the monster. (another chance to correct me, i know it is a disease, but I LIKE monster.)

A lump in my throat, a twisting in my gut, a tear on my cheek. This is what I live with even with a son who is clear and sober.

To every mother and father out there struggling through this nightmare; the only thing I can really say to help is, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Keep reaching out to us. We don't have that magic bullet to fix it but we have a hand to hold. We have a shoulder where you can cry. Most of all we UNDERSTAND.


J.R. said...

There is son is headed to three years clean soon!

J.R. said...

There is son is headed to three years clean soon!

Anonymous said...

I wonder if you ever stop worrying about relapse? My son has been sober for 3 yrs then relapsed. Right now he is in prison and is sober again. He has 5-9 yrs in prison. If he stays sober until he gets out will I stop worrying about relapse then? Or will it be 5 yrs sober on the outside? Or 10 yrs sober? Or will it take 20 yrs? Will I go to my grave still worrying about relapse?

Kristi said...

I am fortunate enough to have two children in recovery. My daughter is 3+ years clean from IV Meth use and my son is 5+ years clean from IV heroine use. My daughter did it basically on her own with some counseling and my son did 4 years federal time on a heroin conspiracy charge. He had the benefit of RDAP (Residential Drug Abuse Program) while incarcerated and that made the biggest difference of all for him. He has challenges now with finding jobs and such but, so far he's stayed clean and out of trouble in the 19 months since his release. So far, so good with both of my adult children. This said, I still pray every night that they're sobriety continues and they stay on the right path.....once bitten, twice shy I suppose. But, recovery does happen so never loose faith and never give up hope!!

bj said...

I am not addicted to drugs, but I am 24 years sober in AA. I am trying to help a friend of mine get free from heroin. So I have been searching for other ways. The treatment center thing is a business, based on relapse. Terrible success rate. And if an addict comes off heroin, stays clean for a while, there is a huge risk for overdose, since their mind is still wanting to use at the last dose they used. Deadly. Sounds like you know your way around a rehab.
Anyway, I have investigated this stuff called Iboga, or Ibogaine. It is an African herb that has been used at least in central america for more than 25 years.The doctor that I spoke with here in Antigua has personally supervised Iboga for 20 years. From all the YouTube videos and research articles on it, Iboga removes all trace of the craving and shortenss and reduces the severity of withdrawal. The last patient the Dr had at said that after 5 days after Iboga, he felt like he had never taken heroin at all, ever. Its not an easy process, according to the doctor here (, the patient needs to be totally supervised every minute for the first week.
Also they say Iboga is only half the process. the other half is helping the addict get at the inner issues that caused him to like the addictive process. Otherwise, a person can be healed, have a transformational inner experience and go home and get hungry for a different easier softer way. Drinking, other drugs, etc.
However, this is a new concept to me. To be freed from the cravings and the nightmare withdrawal. This center near me has a Facebook page as well that is loaded with articles on Iboga, Ibogaine and how it works. I am so surprised to hear about this new, yet very very old herb. No suboxone, methadone or Buprenorphine. Just one dose of Iboga, one week of intense supervision, another of moderate supervision.

Please let me know if you have heard of this and if so, what do you think of this? I feel so strange asking this of a complete stranger, yet since it is not a patented drug, its success is kept well hidden.

Thank you for your time,
Barb Long

Dad and Mom said...

It is BS. It's been proven it's only a witch oil with no success. Investigate using CRAFT methodologies.

Liz said...

I cannot even express to you how much your blog and other blogs (Annette, Barb, etc.) have helped me over the years. They were my life savers because I did not feel alone and I could see that the things I was going thru were not unique... I was not alone and they gave me strength. It if wasn't for you guys, I don't know where I would be. So, thank you.
My daughter has been clean and sober for two years now.. Still there is not a day that goes by that I do not pray for her. I will always, always worry about her relapsing, but, I do not obsess anymore.

Dad and Mom said...

Thank you for your kind words Liz. It cannot be understated how much all of you helped us too.

Chele's Invisible Illnesses Journey said...

I found your blog as I struggle with my 22 yr old daughter who was using/dealing meth & I had NO clue until she spent 64 days in jail. I thought getting her out of jail & home was the hard part, was I ever wrong! She became this ungrateful, lazy girl I don't know anymore. I don't know what to do or how to help her. I asked her to leave my home April 9, so now I have no idea where she really is, if she's still using, nothing. I want MY daughter back but I don't know if she even exists anymore. I wish I knew how to help & how to get my daughter back. I can't find a support group here for families, only the addict. I'm NOT coping well. Thank you.