Friday, April 25, 2014

Why Do/Should We Write

Why would I write about addiction, share all of my family secrets and issues, exposing us all to shame and ridicule by so many?

Simple answer, it was because I tried everything else and this was my last resort. I went to meetings spoke to counselors and therapists. I sat in rehabs while addicts shared their stories, me searching for answers. I cried privately. Darlene and I suffered in silence. Writing and sharing worked for me.

I am not discounting what works for others but I am making sense of what works for me.

Parenting an addict is a life of the immediate. If you aren't in the middle of a crisis you are waiting for the next one. There is no time to plan the next step. The next step is about to land on you as you wait.

Writing was a necessity for me. Maybe sharing publicly wasn't what I intended to do, in fact if you read my first posts in 2009 I made a point to be anonymous.

In the heat of the crisis/moment we all react. That is all we can do, many times it can be a matter of life or death for our loved one. When do we have time to deliberate and reflect?

Writing forced that time upon me. It caused me to examine more closely my personal experience. What happened in the crisis, what happened to me, what did I do in reaction and finally the most important point, what did I learn.

Writing held me accountable to myself. In quiet deliberation I could examine my own mistakes, not just blame everything on the drugs. There are answers to this insanity called addiction that makes sense. Writing helped me to find and ask the right questions.

My learning and advice. If you do not write, try it. You don't have to put it online for the world to see. It can be as private as you want. Write a journal or a diary or write on a scrap piece of paper. Put those words and feelings in black and white. Involve the other parts of your body in fixing your heart. Force your hand and fingers into the game. Make your eyes focus through the tears. It doesn't have to be profound it only has to be you.


DDD said...

Amen, Ron!

Bar said...

So true. And this week I've been wanting to write on my blog but found myself editing my words. I need to just let it all hang out like I always have, its my therapy.

Annette said...

When I think about what I am doing...sharing all of my private family life and flaws...its weird. But regardless of how weird it may seem to me, it has been one of the most therapeutic things I have ever done for myself and I met all fo your good people who understand my life and I understand only one who has walked in these shoes. We are each others people in a very real way. We cry over each other kids, we care deeply and cheer on during times of sobriety. Even though I have never met so many of you, I love and pray for all of the parents I have met here, because the burdens we carry are unlike most others.

Tori said...

It is my therapy too! Writing has helped me so much - the amazing people I have met (like you) the tight bonds that I have formed with people I have never met but communicate with on a daily basis. I am not alone and I don't have to be alone.

Syd said...

I enjoy writing. Lately, I've found that my time of writing has lessened as I move on to other things that have been occupying my time. I don't feel as desperate as I once did. Thanks to Al-Anon, I've learned to let a lot of things go that used to bother me. I'm glad to be where I am but know that it is only one day at a time.

Jill Armstrong Ramirez said...

Thanks for writing. I just started a blog too.
Hopefully we can all help eachother.

Senta said...

While I have not been able to write, reading your blogs and comments have been a life saver in many a dark day and night over the past 3 years. I cannot thank you enough

Rebecca Wicks said...

Beautiful! I am a former addict and have an addiction blog up. I was an addict from the age of 15 to 29. If there is ever any advise you may need please ask for I am now an author and self help blogger. is my personal story and much more!

Badr Rharbaje said...
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